What are your "grave reasons" for using NFP?


#1

I’m looking into the question of NFP before I get married, but after having talking it over with my boyfriend, we have no reasons to use NFP in the future, really. I’m just curious to see what your reasons are and then I’ll use that for my Moral Theology class… No names mentioned! :slight_smile:

Oh and if you don’t use NFP at all, can you please specify why you and your spouse have made that decision?


#2

Many many reasons until we decided those reasons weren’t even such a big deal after all… I picked money since that was the main one for DH and I, but because he’s not Catholic, I wanted to wait until I was 100% sure he’d let me raise our children Catholic. Once he agreed, we decided the money issue wasn’t as bad as we thought…


#3

DH and I’s issues are ours alone, and I don’t feel the need to share them on a public forum.


#4

The Church does not teach that one must have a “grave” reason.

One must have a just reason that conforms with objective moral criteria.


#5

:shrug: We don’t have a good enough reason. So we don’t use it! We’re open to another baby any time God sees fit to give us one! :smiley: Hopefully that will be soon.


#6

There not really health concerns with giving birth -it’s actually health concerns with being pregnant. My heart is too weak to support both me and a growing baby, and most of the medicines that I take to keep my heart supporting me would have to be stopped.


#7

We literally cannot afford another child since we depend on both of our incomes to survive. We can’t afford the money for a babysitter either for 2 children, so we’ll wait until the money improves or our son hits kinder and then again only have to pay for one child in daycare.


#8

Fair enough, but I want to point out your grammatical error. “I” is not used possessively. Rather, you would say, “My and DH’s issues are ours alone…”

Hope that helps for next time.:slight_smile:


#9

You sound like a book on moral theology. Why not explain what “objective moral criteria” is for the rest of us?


#10

I know. I realized that afterward, and just didn’t feel like changing it. Bad form for an English teacher.


#11

Becuase of diagnosis of PCOS and severe hormonal “malfunction” I was placed on birth control pills. They ensure that I actually have a cycle (didn’t have one for almost 2 years before the hormones). Also I produce virtually ZERO estrogen on my own and Premarin was too much for me so this works the best. I do not want this, I would prefer NFP. It’s very hard to get most women to understand this. Also, I almost had a stroke prior to having DD and was in hospital on IV duiretics, blood thinning and renal support and was told to take this route until next child. twk


#12

ICP. Can’t remember what “I” stands for, but CP is colestasis of pregnancy. Basically my wife’s liver doesn’t work right when pregnant and there is some risk to her and a lot of risk for sudden death of the unborn baby late in pregnancy. Usually gets worse with each pregnancy. Makes her unbelievably itchy when pregnant too. No, REALLY itchy - like scratches her skin clean off itchy.


#13

We aren’t currently using NFP, since baby #2 is still a few months from being born, but I answered for why we will be using it. We will be trying to avoid in order to have a little time off between babies. I suppose in some ways it is for health reasons, as I suffered from severe PPD after DS was born and am currently being treated for depression that developed during this pregnancy. So my mental health is a factor in our decision. How long we will wait is questionable - we take it one day at a time, trying to stay in touch with how we are doing as a family and what we believe God wills for us.

MJ


#14

They use the word “grave” in some places and “just” in some places.


#15

None! :extrahappy: Bring on those babies!!!

For the first 7 or so months of marriage, my hubby was finishing up his degrees and I was the one supporting us financially with my nursing job. We used NFP-lite (bending the rules) to help postpone pregnancy during that time. When bending the rules a few times didn’t result in a baby, we flat-out reversed the rules and got pregnant on our first try! :dancing: Hubby graduated and got a job a few months later, and I was able to quit my job to be a SAHM.

Now we’re sort of using ecological breastfeeding-lite, but we’re using it as a lifestyle and parenting style, not specifically for the child-spacing effects. We’d be happy with another baby now. :slight_smile:


#16

#17

I voted financial–since that’s the primary reason, but we also other difficulties both practically and psychologically.

My energy level just accomodates homeschooling and caring for six kids, so it would be hard on everyone to have a baby.

My husband is looking at getting a 2nd job (which might help with our financial situation), but then he’d be unavailable to a parental support to me and the kids.

Our house and van are small. We currently are driving a 7 passenger van. And, the house is 1500 sq feet with only 3 bedrooms. and, in the current money crunch, we cannot expand either into a bigger van or a bigger house.

This is not a good reason, but since I’m being open and honest, we aren’t sure that we are strong enough right now to handle the pressure and censure of his parents who live next door to us. My MIL in particular is very unkind to us when we have a baby. Oddly, though, she’s a very good grandmother. :slight_smile:

It’s really more of a combination of reasons than one reason in particular.

But, honestly, it’s my dh who is the hold up. He feels the practical consequences of another baby more than I do. I’m ready for another baby and I think all the practicalities will resolve themselves.

So maybe I should add, that I don’t think my dh is ready. I think it would be really hard on him–much more than me. He has so many responsibilities in our family. And, he seems very stressed out. I don’t want to add to his stresses until some of our money problems resolve.

Though, I’m 38, so how much time do we have? :frowning:


#18

:thumbsup:


#19

My mother had her last 2 at 39 and 44, there may still be time Leonie :slight_smile: Bless you for your openness to life! I will pray for your family.


#20

Thank you :slight_smile: I’ve never been happier than I am now with my two babies! And what a blessing it is to have a DH who is so supportive and 100% on board with trusting God to determine our family size! It’s a real recipe for happines :bounce:


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