What can i do about mom?


#1

My children and i were at mom and dad’s house when my mother started acting out against me and my kids. It was a all out fight in which mom accused my daughter (6 yrs) of thinking of her as a b!#@(). she does this over and over through the years and left my daughter depressed.

My father (a pentecostal preacher) lets her behave this way toward me in my childhood, him, ad now my kids.

I have forgiven her unconditionally but am rethinking my choice of letting my children be in th at environment , or around dad who does nothing.

advice please and pray for their eternal salvation.:signofcross::byzsoc:


#2

What can you do? Stop putting yourself and your children in these situations.

No sane person accuses a *six year old *of thinking those kinds of thoughts. On what did your mother base this proclamation? Did your six year old do or say anything disrespectful?

Your mother’s behavior seems to indicate some psychological issues if this is a pattern with her-- just accusing people of nutty stuff out of nowhere.


#3

No, I would not subject my child to this behavior.

Try to remember how you felt when your Mom would lash out at you and I’m sure your little girl feels just as badly. Have you ever asked your Mom why she feels the need to attack a 6 yr old and also why she did this to you as a child?

You might need to have a serious discussion with her.


#4

Unfortunately, sometimes the only way we can honor our parents is to stay away from them. I have not subjected my children to their Grandmother for the same reason. – if she would even see us, that is. It is HARD. I’ll be praying for you and your situation.

Steph


#5

[quote="1ke, post:2, topic:186118"]
What can you do? Stop putting yourself and your children in these situations.

No sane person accuses a *six year old *of thinking those kinds of thoughts. On what did your mother base this proclamation? Did your six year old do or say anything disrespectful?

Your mother's behavior seems to indicate some psychological issues if this is a pattern with her-- just accusing people of nutty stuff out of nowhere.

[/quote]

I agree. It is so sad that these things happen.:(


#6

To allow anyone to abuse ones children, whoever they are, would seem to be complicit in child abuse.

We know there are the ten commandments which include, ‘honor your father and your mother’, but Jesus summed up the commandments with an over-all emphasis on loving God above all and loving others as yourself. You aren’t responsible for your parents’ formation, you can only pray for them, but you are responsible for your children’s spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical formation.

Your mother possibly wont let you withdraw quietly and you may find she gets worse in her desperation, so I hope you can calmly find the solution to that. Your mother acts in a childish kind of way it would seem.
Please don’t let her draw you into emotional responses at her level.
God grant you the strength to be a firm yet charitable adult in how you handle protecting your children.

It may be extreme to withdraw completely. Do you see as possible an attempt to negotiate with your parents for respect for your wishes and your children’s well-being. And to wisely regulate any visits, explaining carefully why and leaving some degree of responsibility with your parents to behave respectfully with your children and you?

I would imagine that she never resolved childhood issues of her own and never perhaps found the way to really mature as an adult, and as her husband felt unable to challenge her, she has been confirmed in the behaviour.

God bless you and your family.


#7

Where is your husband in all of this? Since the FIL is a pentecostal preacher, he probably takes literally the part about wives being submissive to their husbands, so maybe your husband can tell your dad frankly “get your wife under control or you lose us all - including your grandchildren”.


#8

Walk away from her, and don't look back. No one has a right to treat your children like that.


#9

You need to put a stop to this now. Do not allow your children to be subjected to such abuse. As a child you could do nothing to protect yourself but now you are an adult and you must protect your children, you are obligated to.

My husband and I both suffered abusive behaviors from parents growing up. There is no way, no how he or I would ever allow that abusiveness to repeated on our child. The moment your mother begins her nonsense you get your children you leave and if she continues to have these out bursts you no longer allow your children in her presence. There is nothing to think about here. This must stop now.


#10

I agree. I feel the only thing you really can do is pray.


#11

Sometimes we have to protect our children from their extended family! I think you should really sit down with yoru six year old and talk about Grandma's behavior and how it is not her fault that Grandma has some issues!

Then really REALLY limit the time with Grandma. No one should ever be screaming at my child, let alone saying "Bit&&" in front of her! That is completely unacceptable.

I hope you can work it out!


#12

you insist she get a full medical workup and professional help she desperately needs. What would you do if the extreme behavior were something with an obvious physical cause, like symptoms of low blood sugar or stroke?

While she is a threat to your health, safety and well being of your children you keep them away from her and make sure they understand grandma is sick and can't be around children right know, and we are praying for you--and do that prayer with them every day.

There is NOTHING about the Christian notion forgiveness that includes condoning or enabling bad behavior.


#13

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