For the record:
I’m 15 and a freshman in high school. This might just be relevant.
Working out my vocation is something I have on my mind a lot.
Lately I’ve been feeling a very strong attraction to a more interior, contemplative life. Prayer and study. The only job I really want to do is teach, and teach theology, and to help save as many people as I can through the people I teach and then through those that they teach. That and to be a father to children that I will raise to a Christian life, along with assisting my wife along the narrow way and of course her assisting me, and knowing how I am whoever she is she’d probably be the dragging me by the ear back to the path of righteousness.
What can I do with my life? Are there any secular orders that I may have a vocation to? Are there any saints whose writings might point me in a more realized direction of what I’m getting at?
There are some problems I have. I have strong anxiety issues, not crippling and not always bothering me but they can act up, and I am not socially brilliant by any means, among other things. Such things have led me to conclude I cannot be a priest or religious, I wouldn’t be able to function in a non-secular context, unless it was only for a few days like on a retreat.
Any advice, CAFers? This really gets to me at times. xp
EDIT: Something that has really gotten to me in life is what a joke others make life out to be. I want to flee from the nonsense of the way people act towards God, but I don’t want to abandon them completely, hence my desire to teach. Are there any saints who have had similar experiences?