What changed your heart?


#1

Some of you have expressed that you have had a “re-version” back to the Catholic Faith. Or, you used to use ABC, before you learned about NFP.

Here’s my question: What prompted you to come back or try NFP? What convicted you?

In trying to develop talks for Pre-Cana classes, it would be nice to get some input from those who have “been there.”


#2

**Well, my journey into the Church (as a convert) and my desire to practice NFP as opposed to contracepting happened at different times. I won’t go into my journey into the Catholic faith here…

but I did decide on NFP BEFORE my conversion. Why? Number one was the abortifacient nature of the Pill. I had never heard that before and once I looked into it I couldn’t stand the thought of any of my babies dying.

Second was all of the adverse effects the artificial hormones were having on me. Plus I was trying to live a more natural lifestyle and pumping myself full of that stuff didn’t really fit.

So why not just use condoms or some other form of contraception? Because of the statistics and information. When used properly I loved that NFP was so reliable. And with all of the info about my own body I knew I could actually trust the method because it worked with my cycles and how God made me. Once I understood just how a woman’s body is designed to function I was amazed (and angry that all girls don’t learn this around puberty)…

To me NFP is about working with my own body and** not working against God.

Hope that helps:)


#3

I truly learned about my own body after 2nd baby. (Yes a little late.) My mother, a devout Catholic, had strange views about what I should & shouldn’t know about how my body worked.
When I realized I did not want to bring any more children into the world with my emotionally/spiritually-and even sexually- abusive x, (even tho I have 4 lovely children)I decided also that any man deserving of me had to respect my body. And the words that come out of my mouth. NFP can do that-I just haven’t found the man deserving!

I say he was sexually abusive because he said things likeIf I didn’t give him what he wanted I wasn’t a good wife. To others that might be emotional abuse. Off topoic-sorry.

My 13 yr old DD has gone thru public school “health” classes. I’ve given her lessons on what NFP is.

Also, respecting how my body works is much more fail-proof than the use of the pill I was on when I concieved my first!


#4

Because my cycles were so screwy, I didn’t think NFP was for me. Little did I know that people with screwy cycles need NFP even more to figure out what is going on. I wish someone would have sat down and explained to me what it means when you get cervical mucus. I didn’t know. Even when we were having trouble having children, not once did my dr. talk about signs your body gives…I do have to take responsibility here though. I was dismissive in my attitude about NFP and I just wanted to have a baby. So dr. said, take this pill on this day, take this pill on this day and let’s see what happens. Viola, I had a baby. Didn’t care how it happened so long as it did.
I converted to the faith when I was in college. I still didn’t have a grasp on the faith like I do now. My DH and I eloped so we didn’t have pre-cana classes (we have since convalidated our marriage). I think those that we looked up to in our family (some catholic too) gave advice that was not in line with Church teaching. We thought that things went alright for them so they must be right. We went to Church during the first few years of our marriage but didn’t really know about our faith. Didn’;t really think about it. After all, we were good people and living a good life. I think when our oldest started catechism classes, we started learning more about it…then we were challenged in our faith thru a series of events (long story for another day…) so we started to learn why we believed what we said we did. I was amazed at what we were missing by not knowing our faith.
Once we did that, everything else fell into place. I think when you are first starting out, there are all of these influences around you. We looked up alot to those couples in our family that were a few years ahead of us. Unfortunately, when you don’t know your faith, you don’t realize that these examples are not the ones you should emulate. Once you learn about what a beautiful way God made the female body, you are amazed just like the previous poster said. How cool is that that little signs can tell you what is going on and all you have to do is pay attention. That’s true in alot of areas of life. NFP is fairly new to us and I am still trying to learn more about it.
My DH and I talk about how we feel like pioneers now in our family. But hopefully, our children will know now and that is a lesson that we are looking forward to teaching them when the appropriate time comes.


#5

Aloejamb, Mucous -and anything to do with bodily functions-was a bad worh in our house,Also I forgot to say I had messed-up cycles ever since I began menstruating. NFP helped me understand what my body was doing better than anyone else. Although, it would’ve ben nice to have a human person to talk to instead of a book. Don’t remember the book I learned it from.


#6

At our Engaged Encounter we were led to believe that NFP was an option. There was much hostility from the attendees when it was even mentioned. When we were expecting our second child we were asked to be on the marriage prep team for our parish, even then it was not taught as Church teaching, just an suggestion.

I began an interest through my own reading of church materials, but DH was not interested. I prayed.

I was very close to delivering my third child when I attended a conference and heard Kimberly Hahn. I purchased Life Giving Love. I stayed up very late reading that night and had a very nice chat with her the next day about some other issues.

DH just happened to stop by to check things out during a Panel Disussion Q & A that night. Somebody asked “what if a wife wants to practice NFP but the husband does not?” Mrs. Hahn reply was basically that it is non-negotiable, the wife should not participate in sexual activity. She was quite firm and direct.

Within a couple of weeks of having my third child we began our first year FAMILIA~That did it. There was no more argument from DH. He did say though, that it meant that we would have a fourth child soon. Four years later we have not. (Although we would be quite {a bit more of} a wreck financially, nether of us would be disappointed if we did have a fourth)


#7

Oh, what a great question. Interestingly enough, being a Catholic convert & coming from a pro-contraceptive mentality, the “no ABC” thing was actually one of the hardest Church teachings for me to get on board with! Before converting I wasn’t exactly a saint, you see, and I had already been on ABC for … quite some time :blush:

I stopped taking my ABC before entering the Church (my wonderful fiance is Catholic and I have no medical reasons for taking it), but I was still resentful of “not being in control of MY own fertility.” Sigh, yes, I said it. Over and over again. And one day it hit me: trust. I trust God to watch over me, to love me, to take care of me, to provide for me, etc. Why is it so hard to trust Him with “my” fertility (like anything is “mine” anyway, right?!)? I think my problem was my feminism mentality - I thought that ABC was giving me control/independence, but really it was tying me down to a pill. As if there was something wrong with me and I needed to fix it by going to the doctor and getting a prescription (fertility is NOT a disease!!)! A big factor in me coming to these realizations was reading “The Good News” by West. I had started coming around, and after reading the book I embraced/had a much more positive view of nonABC life.

I also did a lot of research on NFP. Of course I love that NFP is for TTA and TTC. I’ve also heard a ton of testimony of NFP helping women diagnose potential medical problems before they got out of hand and heard horror stories about ABC.


#8

I was as pro-contraception as one cab be. I am a Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner who was working in a family planning clinic, a clinic that sent me to school.

About 4 years ago, I was considering leaving the Catholic Church. I had a relationship with Christ… I just didn’t accept the authority of His Church. My DH and I wanted our children “growing up in church”. A few things happened along the way but my mom is who brought me home.

She was also struggling. One Saturday, my mom and I decided it was time for confession and we were going to give Catholicism one more try. It had been over 7 years for me, because the Sacrament of Reconciliaton is one of those things **I **didn’t feel I needed. I took my sins to Christ…nuff said… or so I thought. :blush: My mom and I went… I had a printout because I had a lot to confess. Ten days later my mom passed away. I look back at the last few weeks of my mom’s life and realize she could have ended up in any church… she was searching… but Christ carried her back to His Church. WOW! How could I deny the truth? I accepted the authority of the Church and knew that was the end of my days in the family planning clinic and contraception. I admit I had to set my pride aside and submit to the authority of the Church.

HTH! Feel free to ask questions.


#9

Awesome. Thank you so much.

We do mention some of these things in our talk. We mention the abortifacient nature of the pill. And, I downloaded an insert that is from the patch or the pill. . . the language is the same. And, I made it into an overhead to point out the 3 functions of the pill.

Good idea to point out the unreliability of barrier methods.

Thanks again.:thumbsup:


#10

This is so true!!!

Thank you so much for sharing this.

Yes. Many people don’t realize that there are so many people who get pregnant while taking the pill. With the effectiveness rate that is claimed for the pill, you would think there would be less pregnancy. Of course, pill or no pill, we are not in control. :o

I pray that you find someone to share your life who respects you for who you are. Having a wonderful husband who you can talk to, laugh with, love with, etc. is just amazing.


#11

And the children will lead them. . .

That’s great. And, it does seem that we need to seek the Truth.

Thanks for your story


#12

#13

I have a good friend who said this book CHANGED HER LIFE!!!

Thanks!


#14

Wow. Yes. It’s so true, though. I do think a lot of people use ABC with the thought and intent that they are being responsible. . .because they are in control of their bodies/fertility. But, we try to point out that when we control so much, that we push God right out of our lives. We’ve grabbed onto control so tightly, that there is no room for Him and His will for our lives.

Another great book! I’m glad you mentioned it. We do recommend it as well.

Thanks so much.


#15

AMAZING! Wow. I’ve read and re-read what you said. And. . Wow.

Was your mom sick? Did you consciously know it was the authority of the church that you had a problem with? Or did it take time to figure that out?


#16

We picked up a free copy of a tape put out by CCL in our local Catholic bookstore one day. It was about six months after our conversion (my re-version) and confirmation, and we really had very little idea of the Church’s position on ABC (even though we were married IN the Church! When I heard that the Pill was an abortifacient, my mouth dropped open. I couldn’t believe what I had been doing all that time.

We immediately went off the Pill, but it took another month of prayerful consideration before we decided to go off contraception cold-turkey. The hesitation was partly because we couldn’t locate a nearby NFP teaching couple, and we had no idea how to practice any form of NFP or how to learn it without being taught. After reading an older version of The Art of Natural Family Planning, I had very little confidence that I would be able to remember all those signs and record them accurately. It was intimidating. So we simply decided, wonder of wonders, to go ahead and have our second child instead of learning NFP! :rotfl: I guess I figured in nine months I could read up all I wanted and be ready to start as soon as the baby was born.

Long story short, he was born, I still hadn’t studied, we took the home study course and discovered EBF and didn’t have our first opportunity to practice “regular” NFP until 15 months postpartum, when my fertility returned. :smiley:


#17

God is AMAZING!!!

My mom had a chronic illness (autoimmune), but there was no indication she was going to die. She became septic secondary to ischemic bowel. It was very sudden… a thief in the night.

Great questions.

I guess it took time to figure it out. I did not think I had a problem with the authority of the Church, because I didn’t consider the Church having authority over me or anyone else. :blush: My thinking… I only answser to God, He knows my heart, He will guide my decisions, some of the Church’s teaching are manmade rules (not sure how I decided what teachings were manmade:shrug: )…blah blah blah… I was so fantastically stupid and ridiculous. I separated Christ (who I thought I was submitting to) from His Church. KWIM? I admit I didn’t want a bunch of celibate men in Rome telling me what I could and couldn’t do with my body. What do they know? I considered the teaching archaic and dismissed it. See… I thought I knew more… ego and pride. :blush:


#18

Hi NFPWORKS,
After all this geat info I’m reading from everyone here, let us know how your pre-cana talks go, OK?


#19

It takes about 1000 of my posts to really describe my journey. I am notoriously long-winded and have recently lost my nutshell to contain my story. But here goes…BTW, the stories before me have been amazing!!

This subject was my entire hurdle. Not just contraception, but everything about sexuality and the Church. (Except for some bizarre reason I always stayed pro-life even when I didn’t act like it.) I was pro-contraception, pro-women’s ordination, pro-same sex marriage, pro pre-marital sex, (you know you gotta test drive that car before you buy it ;)) etc., etc., etc… You name it. If it had anything to do with sex or the sexes and it was not in line with Church teaching…that was me.

But God had better things in mind. He allowed my fertility to be totally whacky. :whacky: My mom bought me the book, Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition, by Marilyn Shannon. As soon as I found out it was “Catholic” it went to my book shelf and stayed there for about 3 years. I tried to heal my health problems and my spiritual problems in the secular world. I stayed nominally Catholic but kept trying to earn my way out of the Faith. But instead I earned my way back in.

I’m trying to keep this short here so I will cut to the chase. Shannon’s book had a pretty big impact. But I have to say that it was Theology of the Body that brought me back. Not anyone’s particular interpretation of it, but TOB straight up. (I took a class in college from a priest who had heard one of the talks live and was telling about it. I didn’t realize till years later that it was TOB. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Fr. Simeon!!! God rest his precious soul!)

The “nuptial body” was all I wanted to understand…just that, nothing else. I wanted to know who I was in relation to God and what it meant. I had struggled with my health, I had gotten a lot of the wrong kind of attention for the “wrappings” of my body, and I really didn’t understand or appreciate what it meant to be a woman, and specifically what it meant to be this particular woman. I didn’t understand men either.

My female health troubles led me to a deeper understanding of the inner workings of myself. They led me to an appreciation for our amazing and beautiful bodies. TOB brought me over the very large wall I had built for myself. I found out that “one flesh” really means one flesh! He really is the Bridegroom and we really are the bride!!


#20

I think this is more common among Caholics than we can imagine.

I don’t know how we got so far off. . .as a Church. Is it the world, our families, catechesis, or lack thereof? It’s so easy to buy into the stuff you talk about . . and much harder to stand up for the Truth. As a great priest always told me, “It takes courage to stand up for the Truth.”


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