I’ve always what constitutes grave matter. I know it is when they break the Ten Commandments. But is a little sibling fight or being in an irritable mood grave matter?
a little sibling fight is not grave matter. What I call little though is some yelling maybe and a little shoving, an exchange of harsh words…but then it dissipates. I have seen it with my girls, and it ends in ten to fifteen minutes with two or more door slams (it depends on how many were involved in the fight). Everyone makes up later. Small—venial and to the point.
It might get more into serious matter, if the fighting is chronic (daily)and there seems to underlie some larger problem. Wills that refuse to forgive and forget make it more grave matter. I tell them don’t let the sun go down on their anger—make up before we turn out the lights.
Irritablilty isn’t grave matter, but I try to get out of it—I try to think of others and their feelings—so compassion makes me feel like I should lift myself out of the bad mood. I don’t want to ruin everybody’s day. So I think when you don’t try to help yourself it makes it more serious matter, and you get in people’s faces with your bad mood almost daily. For that there are meds, and I take them.
Well I hope this helps. The best thing to do when trying to figure out what constitutes grave matter is get a good confessor. One can get scruples over this, so talk to a good priest about this too.