I’m new to this forum and have a question regarding the appropriate use of NFP in a marriage. My understanding is that NFP is not meant to be contraceptive, in that it is not to be used to de-couple the act of physical intimacy from the possibility of co-creating life with God, but rather can be used to time pregnancies if there are *serious reasons *to do so. My husband and I recently got married for the first time as older people in our early 40’s. We are practicing Catholics and try to live our lives according to Church teaching. During our engagement we discussed “waiting” for a few months after our wedding until we were able to de-stress from the combined efforts of wedding planning, finding a new place to live as husband and wife, and moving out of our respective single-person apartments. However, it has been almost seven months since we were married, and my husband refuses to consider opening our life to children at this time, saying that we need to build a more solid foundation and that children will “turn life upside down” and we should give ourselves more time together. He also worries about possibly losing his job, and has urged me to continue on with my very demanding career, despite my wishes to take a more low-key job that would be family friendly. I reminded him that at 40 I may never conceive, or it might take years to conceive a child, and that we should trust God as to the timing, rather than shut Him out and lean on our own reasoning (well, my husband’s, since I want to start trying to have children as soon as possible). I expressed my concern that if we wait too long I may never be able to have children, and that this thought was crushing to me. His response was that I was “emotionally blackmailing him” by telling him about my fears, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. I was expressing the very real situation we are in, and trying to get him to see that even though we are newly married, we have very real biological limitations. He is very attentive to charting my cycle, having taken an NFP class with me, and so he avoids me for 17-20 days a month. I have tried to talk with him, tried praying with him, and I am currently trying to find a good priest to talk to. My gut feeling is that my husband is afraid of the reality of having children, and is using NFP contraceptively as an “acceptable” way of putting things off, possibly until it is too late. Is waiting until things are “more stable” in a new marriage a valid reason to postpone procreative sexuality? What do I say when my husband says “we will just know when the time is right”? I don’t know what to do, and I am also feeling despairing that this is not even a valid sacramental marriage. Any thoughts or advice on morality or psychology would be greatly appreciated.