[quote="Pearl_of_Tyburn, post:1, topic:347782"]
It's intersting I should be bringing up this subject, since I am pretty much turned off to sexuality in all its forms. However, my body wants to go through it's monthly cycles, and I can easily roll into a "drive" by simply laying flat on my belly. This doesn't make me lust, and I can honestly say I don't want sexual intimacy during the event (frankly, I don't think there's ever been a time when I wanted sexual intamacy!). But I do have thoughts flashing through my head of brutal violence, like imagining an awful execution that I read about in history. My heart begins to pound and I go through something of a "flight to fight" experience, which ends, oddly enough, in what I suppose is a "release" of the sexual drive.
The point is, I don't touch anything and I'm not lusting, but this thing comes on like a tidal wave and its really hard to stop it. So would this be considered sinful, since I am getting what I assume is some sort of bodily release? I'm certainly not deriving any "pleasure"; just getting "relief" for internal torture! Trying to hold it back actually starts to hurt, and the whole thing runs its course in as little as two minutes. Sometimes at night, I literally can't go to sleep unless I let nature take its course.
If anyone has any sage advice, please feel free to weigh in! If I could get rid of the whole barrel of wax, it would be a great delight, but somehow I don't think that will be happening any time in the near future :( Please keep me in your prayers!
I think that would qualify as masturbation even though you are not using your hands. The body has like an internal clock and gets used to things and likes routines. Have you ever tried to train your body to get up at a certain time? At first, you set the alarm and it is difficult at the beginning, its a challenge. However, you persist because you have that new job that you have to get to. You even have to set two alarms to make sure that you get up on time and in the evening, every evening you try to go to sleep earlier so you will wake up on time and not be so tired. After a while, you get up with the first alarm and eliminate the second as you no longer need it. Then, after some time, you wake up seconds before the alarm goes off - your body has gotten into the routine. :)
The want to do similarly with the situation that you are handling. What activates it? Every time for now on, try to prevent it from happening. You said that when you lay down on your tummy, well, don't. Instead go for a walk, find something else to do. The desire will subside in time and will come less frequently until there will no longer be a problem. You may experience it every so often and more and more rarely, but you need to take it out of your mind. If you give in, you will find that the desire will return and so on more frequently. It's like setting up the wake up time, however, if you start undoing the routine the body will start responding to the change and no longer be used to the 7 o'clock wake up time.
Regarding the violent imaginings, it appears as though you are suppressing desiring sexual intimacy for some reason and; your body and mind since that is forbidden has incorrectly replaced it with violence to get the adrenalin going. I suggest that you consider why you do not desire sexual intimacy and why you are suppressing it and face the situation and deal with it. It is not healthy to get sexually motivated with some brutal violent act such as a killing of a human being. Instead, deal with why you are suppressing sexual desires.
I think we can try to make a distinction just at least for the moment between sexual desires and lust. A person can desire to be with another and maybe decide to get marry and this would be different than lust when lust is just desiring sex for its own sake. What I am trying to say is that it is not bad to want to have a partner and if that is what you are desiring you may want to face that desire and not suppress it. I have, of course, no idea why you are suppressing your sexual desires but, again, they are being replaced with violence and that's not good. So, my question to you is why have you "turned off sexuality in all its form"? It's like trying to push too many things in a limited space like a closet and you are tucking some stuff in the bottom and trying to close the door but the clothes in the bottom when it went in pushed up some clothes or what ever on the top which will not let the door close. So, it seems with what you are doing. You are trying to suppress something but your mind is saying, alright let's replace it by something else, then.
The Holy Apostle Paul said:
8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
I hope this helps and I wish you the best.