I was away from the Catholic Church for years and then wanted God back in my life. I experimented with Methodist, went just one time and decided it wasn’t for me. The speaker there didn’t talk about God, just stuff totally unrelated, and I didn’t want that.
I tried Unitarian Fellowship, and there was good fellowship there, but they didn’t have a set thing, like a mass. They would just have people come in and talk about any topic. Once, my teacher and I went there and did T’ai Chi. The children would read books, but again it had nothing to do with God.
I went to some other service, that one of my students invited me to. I was basically tricked into it. I was told it would just be a dinner and NOT a service. Then, it did turn out to be a service. In a way, it was good I went, because I saw by contrast what I didn’t want. I also didn’t appreciate being lied to in order to get me there.
At that service, there was nothing there. There was, I think just a large cross. I don’t think there were any kneelers, incense, flowers, artwork, statues, just nothing. People I knew got up to speak, and I didn’t feel they were qualified to speak in the way a priest is.
One time, I went with my sister to Church of God, and their minister would get up and talk for like 2 hours. There was no eucharist, nothing outside of his talk.
Once, I went to Baptist, and again, there was nothing I was used to there, just a talk, as I remember.
I went to some New Age Church, and we sort of seemed to pray to ourselves. Fellowship was wonderful, but there was nothing there. It seemed heavily bent on making money. There would be spiritual counselors there, for a fee. I didn’t think it’d be cheap.
I began to miss everything about the Catholic Church. I missed the way we pray our predetermined prayers, the Hail Mary, the Glory Be, the rosary. I missed the Eucharist. I missed the beautiful artwork, the statues and the rest. I missed praying to the angels and saints, the sacraments.
Before I came back, I started to read, “The Divine Comedy” by Dante. I had a nightmare the day I returned to Church that I was being persued by a demon. He was under the floor. I began to hear him making noise, and I began praying, “Hail Mary…”. He screamed. I said, “Our Father…”, and again he screamed. I woke up and went back to Church that very day. The day I went back I went to an ordination of 4 priests. I felt very much comforted by the presence of so many priests. Later, I went to confession, and now I’m back.
I’ve had times when I had a boyfriend I would get off the track, stop going to church, because I was in a state of sin. However, I have realized this is a pattern of mine.
I had a boyfriend, stopped going to Church, again, and my birthday is May 13. Last year on May 13, I was remembering the Virgin of Fatima and just like that made a decision to return to Church again. I did. Now, I have told myself I seem to be one of these people who NEEDS daily mass. I try to pray the rosary daily, visit the Blessed Sacrament frequently, and include my boyfriend in my prayers. We also pray together. I hope not to fall away ever again.