We can agree to disagree on many things, particularly sex. I’m sorry you felt my rant was useless. I will admit my complaint of video games is perhaps hyperbolic and wrong, given some studies.
However, I cannot see how the digital and often sex soaked society we live in doesn’t have a negative effect on these boys. I saw it when I was growing up. I see it in my kids now, and have to fight against it. If there is a study from Columbia that says otherwise, so what. Studies aren’t always truth. I know that’s practically secular heresy to say, but the value of a study depends largely on what it’s studying and the controls.
I keep close track on what my kids are watching or trying to watch on youtube. Some of the things are horrific. Some are so shallow and materialistic that they impart bad, shallow, and materialistic ideas. There have been studies showing a how screen time is pretty positively correlated with depression and anxiety. I’ve seen it in my daughter who looks at some model on youtube (and shows it to me) and tell me how it makes her feel fat. At 13. When she is a crazy fit athlete.
I’m very, very sorry for the situation between you and your father. No child should ever have to endure abuse while another parent looks on. Further, I’m sorry if my rant caused you any pain by dredging up bad memories. And yes, I 100% agree that father figures can be found in other men. And if they are, that’s a fantastic good. But I still hold that fathers matter. If anything, it expands my point. A father can matter very significantly in a childs life, especially a boys life. But that influence can be positive or negative.
Young men need positive male role models. Ideally that’s their father. But if their father bails, or worse, abuses, then you can end up with a severely damaged young man.
Again, I feel we need to focus on creating Good Men; who can be good fathers, and good role models.