What do Good Catholic Girls look for in a Guy?


Alright, this is a two-part question.

Background - I am 30, spent time in sem., left, now happily embracing single life but patiently waiting for God to call me either to marriage or priesthood.

Now, I think I know the answer to this question, more or less, but I wanted to:
a. begin an interesting discussion and hopefully make it onto the “hot topics” list on the Catholic Answers forum, and
b. help out all you single guys (and girls) out there to strive to be the RIGHT one (so God can set you up with the RIGHT one!)

Question #1: What do good Catholic Girls look for in a Guy?


–a guy that loves God more than his partner
–a man strong physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually
–respects life, the environment and himself
–practicing Catholic
–honest with no closet secrets
–loves himself and his parents


Good points Strawberry :slight_smile: I agree with them.

I recommend the book: “Captivating: revealing the mysery of a womans soul” by John and Stasi Eldrege to any man or woman here who wants to know what women long for… to give you a taste of it:

“Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the beauty of the story. Those desires are the secret to the feminine heart. Longings and desires that tell you of the life God created you to live”.

So what does a woman need from a man?

  • LOVE.
    She needs a man who loves her with an amazing, creating, continual and faithful love and who is not afraid of pursuing her as his chosen one. That’s also what Jesus does and this is the role model for male behaviour.

To you Michael… are you sure you are not looking for advice for your self instead of merely helping others? :wink:

  1. A Practising Catholic who loves Jesus and God.
  2. Someone with whom I feel a solid friendship and intellectual repoire with as well as the usual physical attraction stuff;)
  3. Someone who has good family relationships and wants to pass on that love of family by building his own one day.
  4. Someone to have a laugh with and also to have a cry with (hopefully one more than the other)
  5. Someone that will always be there.

Hope you find her (if you are looking that is!:slight_smile: )


Hmmmm…great question! I’m sure this will come across to many as being far too picky, but here’s what’s most important to me…

He must be a practicing and knowledgeable Catholic

He must love God before anything else in his life

He must be trustworthy and unfailingly honest

He must be good with children and have a sincere desire to be a father to as many children as God chooses to give him

He must be my friend first - the physical stuff fades, but friendship and love last forever!

He must treat everyone with respect, and earn the respect of everyone who knows him as well

He must get along with my Dad, my brother, and my Uncles

He must have a stable career (I’m not saying he has to be wealthy, just that I would like for him to be good at whatever he does, and happy in his chosen field)

He must be supportive of me in my career (my ex-fiance was really insecure as I became more and more successful at work. I never quite understood why, but I’m not going through that again)

He must be able to deal with disagreements in a calm and rational manner, and willing to at least listen to my side no matter how wrong he thinks I am

He must have a good sense of humor

He must be open to travel, new experiences, and adventure

And most importantly :wink: He must LOVE football, especially college football. This really is non-negotiable as my Saturdays are pretty much consumed by this 4-5 months a year!


No, no - well, who knows, we all have mixed motives.

I believe I have most of those qualities that Catholic girls are looking for - although there are a few “weak spots” I am still working on. Just no takers yet.



Two resources for your to consider. Also…explore the whole www.growthtrac.com.

One thing that really worked for me…pray for your future spouse. Pray a novena for a spouse and if it is God’s will. Be open!
:thumbsup: It worked for me. And we are celebrating our 29th anniversary soon.


Obviously, he has to make enough money so I can stay at home and afford a cleaning lady!:slight_smile:

Seriously, I look for someone who is patient, humble (most men I know lack this quality), generous with his time, full of wisdom and knowledge. I think I just describe someone filled with the Holy Spirit. It would also be nice if he was energetic, but not all the time maybe about 50% of the time. He’d also have to be a practicing Catholic and share some of my values, such as being pro-life.


I don’t know where everyone got the idea I was “looking”.


Ha! That’s about what I look for in a woman, so I guess it’s not quite gender-specific. :smiley:

Not sure if you still care or if you want an answer there, but perhaps he was afraid to take a back seat or for some reason thought you were drifting away from him in the job world. I remember being on the other side of it - i.e. an ex cutting down on time with me for the sake of studies and other things, celebrating also with friends more readily than with me, as a result of which I felt alienated and not very respected or needed. Wasn’t a great feeling. Perhaps when you find the great guy and things go well for you at work (which is often related with staying at work longer or focusing on work more than on other stuff), remember to make a check on him from time to time and see how he’s faring. :wink:

What about modesty? :smiley: Aren’t ya my alter ego, Michael? Nah, well, we have separate IP’s. :smiley: Anyway, good luck. :wink: I’m shutting up cause I’m male, so I shouldn’t have been talking in the first place. :smiley: Or maybe one more thing. What about the fact you don’t know you won’t be a priest? Maybe women want someone who knows he won’t be one. In fact, it has popped up in my case, since I don’t honestly and fully know, although I haven’t been to the seminary like you have.


I really like the requirement that he get along with the men in my family, but that’s only if the men in my family are respectable guys. If they’re not, then maybe I hope my fellow doesn’t get along too well.

Additionally, he must demonstrate the fourth commandment appropriate for an adult man. He should respect his parents’ counsel, but confidently to choose his own way.

Women would do better to pay more attention to this during the courting stage. Does her fellow appreciate his parents without seeming to obey them, or succumb to manipulation? If he fails at this in courting, it can become intolerable in marriage. Wives don’t want to play second fiddle to her mother in law.

On another note, attentiveness is so affirming. Gals appreciate a guy who can show gentle attentiveness (borrows from the library something by her favorite author, remembers how she likes her coffee) without overdoing it. If he can retain this attribute (or revive this attribute) as the years go by, what a happily ever after story that is!


Actually, I can objectively say that in our case the fault was entirely with him. He resented anything that I did that didn’t directly involve him. I bent over backwards - to the point that my work occassionally suffered for it - trying to make him realize that he was my first priority, and that I cared about him more than my job, but he just couldn’t stand me being happy at work, and was particularly resentful of my success. Towards the end of our relationship, I received a promotion I’d been hoping for for a long time. When I called to tell him about it he said, “I don’t want to hear anything about that. You know I don’t care about your job at all.” Yeah, that was the beginning of the end.

Anyway, it’s all in the past now. And I actually learned a valuable lesson from it. I know now that if right from the beginning the guy doesn’t at least show a slight interest in the things that are most important to me, it’s not going to get any better with time and it’s probably best to move on.


I agree! Fortunately for me, the men in my family are very respectable. That’s probably a big part of the reason why I’m still single; because I haven’t found very many single men that measure up to them. More than anything else, my baby brother is my favorite person in the world. At the very minimum, the guy must get along well with him - which isn’t hard as he’s a pretty cool kid and very social!


Where on earth are people getting this idea I’m “looking”? I’m trying to discern the priesthood as well as marriage as well as single life right now - I’m not looking for advice. And no one is telling me anything new that I don’t already know (and in fact what I already tell others). I just wanted to ask the question for fun.


And you just described my husband! Wow I did well.

Ok except for the football. My DH is not into watching sports AT ALL (lucky me) so it was important to me to marry a reader, who likes the same music, and likes tattoos. So there ya go!


my sisters were told, make sure he has a clean bathroom.


Whilst I’m not sure the OP would consider me qualified to post here, I had a light-bulb moment on another thread.

So… I normally don’t reply to these types of topics because I find it so hard to generalize.

Practicing Catholic goes without saying, but I would want man who is generous:

-generous with God in trying to do His will unreservedly; generous
enough to keep trying when things are difficult;

-generous with other people; it takes a great deal of generosity to
live happily with anyone- everyone has their faults and burdens-
I want a man who will be generous enough to forgive and start
over, if necessary (with anyone, not just me); who will be
generous enough to share himself with other people (because
I’m sure he’ll be awesome and have lot to share. :D)

I don’t know what sort of package he’ll come in, as far as personality, interests, looks, etc. go; but (at the moment anyway) I think generosity is the most important thing to me.

(Of course I would try to be equally… generous.)


Honesty is on the top of the list for me because I unfortunately have dated some really big fat liars, to be quite honest.


Very open personality, fun loving, outgoing

has to like sports cause I watch football and played college basketball

Someone that will truly love me for me

Must have God in his life

have a great sense if humor



I’m not a practicing catholic, but most women look for similar things:

-A guy that will be there for her

-One that never makes her feel insecure

-One she can be around when she is feeling down on herself

-Smart, funny and kind

-Preferably good looking, although the definition of this varies from woman to woman

-A guy who can be spontaneous and romantic.

So thar ya go. not necessarily catholic, but a generic bunch of values that most women look for.


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