My husband says he married me because I have 4 cool brothers and I don’t drink his beer.
Mine said he married me because I have nice teeth, a small nose, and big hoots! :rotfl:
Seriously though, we dated for a long time. He liked that I was “pure”, in a time and place where that was rare. I like the same thing about him. He liked that I was truly devoted to our lives together and the family we wanted to build together. He loved how much I loved him.
No judgment… just questioning …but thanks for the clarification.
Unfortunately what people look for in some one is different than what they look for in a fiance and that is different from what they want in a spouse.
That is a simple one for me - someone who would be faithfull to me, follow church law - someone I could count on.
Someone patient, funny, and understanding.
If a man posesses these things, IMO he would be perfect
You seem to be the kind of woman i would have been looking for before my fiancee took me off the market. Considering how rare women like you seem to be these days I’m amazed you are not already taken.
As for my experience, I was a fallen away Catholic that was taking the first steps back to the Church when I met the woman I am going to marry. Even though I was not very religious at the time, I knew I wanted a woman who had traditional values and a strong faith and morality that would be passed on to our children. Beyond that I was looking for someone with an intelligence that would keep me from getting bored with her company and that would be my best friend. I believe it more important to enjoy the person’s company than to be madly in love since that is what will matter after the romance starts to fade. But where I really knew she would be the one I would marry is when she told me that we wouldn’t have sex until we were married, that God would be at the center of our relationship and that if i wasn’t seriously looking at her as a potential spouse I should look elsewhere. At that point I knew she had the strength and moral fibre I was seeking. The development of this relationship also spurred me on to more seriously seek my faith and come back into the fold of the Church. I know she is my vocation because without the Holy Spirit prompting me through her, I would still be wandering aimlessly in our cultural wasteland.
Definitely think my vocation is to be a great father and husband, yet I don’t think I’m there yet. Not in the sense of being ready to live through God and instead of my own selfish will/habits that I am learning to recognize and break.
It’s tough, it’s a struggle, yet I think I know I am making forward progress
I just hope God blesses me with that gift and I can be a great father and husband, helping both my child/children and wife come closer to each other yet also as a family closer to God. I barely even can see this and just recently learned of this even existing, so I got a ways to go, yet I feel it is what is in my future if I keep down the right path.
Say a prayer for agapewolf, and others in this thread or may be reading this thread that feel alone and like God has forgotten about them? I will and just recently started praying for others, it’s a good thing
I cannot really tell you what I was looking for back then, but now in hindsight I think the one thing that really keeps me attracted to my wife is that she helps me be a better catholic. When I was younger I had so many confusing thoughts pertaining to dating, sex, and living the catholic life. I made many wrong choices while I was looking, I think the sex thing really threw me off.
I guess, my dream date would be someone who is trying to be a good catholic themselves, and that is comfortable with our differances in sexuality. “waiting until we are married” comes to mind.
I don’t know what the good ones look for, but I can tell you what I do.
I’m aware lists don’t round out a person and in many authentic life situations points from lists don’t matter. However, let’s try.
- devoted to God, Christian and hopefully Catholic
- culturally Catholic would be nice - or someone otherwise immersed in the culture which has grown around our faith
- good and kind and merciful
- reflective, thoughtful, considerate, somewhat philosophical
- mannered and not coarse, mild even if strong - strong people can afford mildness, which is also true of people of strong character
- respects people and is overall a good person
And I don’t mean anyone infallible or unwhateverable. Just someone who tries and who looks at herself from distance if need be (not necessarily as a matter of philosophy, but you know, someone who doesn’t think she can do no wrong, her way is the best way etc).
Admittedly, I also look for a pretty and elegant girl who won’t let it go.
Personally the following.
- lover of books.
- has to share my deepest held beliefs.
- has to disagree with some of my beliefs.
- cannot be a red head.
- fun loving
Mine is very simple.
She stives with all her heart to put God first and formost at the center of her Life.
Any woman who does this will win my heart faster than it is beating when I’m around her.
There is nothing more I can ask of God or of a woman, everything else will work out.
God’s faithful servant,
If only more Catholic women presented themselves in this way, they would be more attractive to Catholic men, or at least the men who take their religion seriously. I found my wife on a Catholic match site and she said most of the same things you did and I found her very attractive because of it. I found that Catholic women who put such values first when it comes to men were rare. I really don’t know why.
Are these sentences two separate ideas or do you see them as related? (Genuine question, not intended as an attack.)
My husband was attracted to me because I was a Mass-every-Sunday cradle Catholic, I had clear goals in life that I was working like a donkey to attain, I was not bothered about our age gap, I loved cats, I was interested in practical/mechanical/technical things, I was happy to live vegetarian and I was interested in a whole lot of totally non-mainstream things, not “pop culture” at all. I was open-minded about lifestyle things that (apparently) other girls had found a bit odd in the past. He’d met girls before who fulfilled the basic Catholic criteria but it seems I was not “out of the mould” at all and that’s what got him interested.
Cooking and domestic things were not on my radar, still aren’t, he knew that then and he knows it now. If he equated “much to offer as a wife” with those things, he’d have moved along pretty soon and if he hadn’t I’d have moved him along myself. I really don’t think he wanted someone with a strong preference for traditional gender roles within the family. It was always clear my earning potential would way outstrip his and I’ve been the breadwinner for nearly twenty years. He’s perfectly happy to be maintained in the style to which he has become accustomed. And I come home to piles of clean washing dotted around the place and a magic fridge that keeps filling itself up with food when I’m not around. On the other hand, he knew I would never be the “helpless” sort who would expect miracles from the home handyman, wouldn’t understand why practical things round the house take as long, are as difficult and cost as much as they do/are or couldn’t change a light bulb or install new fuse wire for herself.
(Joking aside, neither of us regard domestic stuff inside or outside the house as gender-specific and therefore something that one would “offer” as a potential spouse. It gets done by whoever is most available to do it.)
Well, the woman I’m in love with is a devout and faithful catholic, she has an passionate love for God which animates all she does, and she grows a little bit closer to God every day, she grows in virtue, and yet she is aware of her own imperfections, because like all human beings, she has flaws, and yet she grows in wisdom and maturity and is becoming very slowly and gradually more like Our Lord, and more like Our Lady.
I hope, if God wills, that we will make the journey to heaven together, and in God’s own time, become together completely one in the sacrament of marriage. Oh, and I love her with all my heart. She’s exactly what I have been looking for every day, until I found her. Now I’m not looking any more.
Of course I wouldn’t say anything about someone else’s domestic arrangements, especially if they work perfectly fine. Personally, I prefered someone with domestic talents and no doubt many Catholic men are the same. But an even more important point in my mind was that it is important to put yourself in the other’s place and address what Catholic men would want. Not many woman on the Catholic site I used seemed to do this.
Good to see you “already married” guys weighing in - I think you have some sharper insights than us single guys sometimes.
Oh, and I read your profile - I love praying in Latin too.
can it be reddish brown?
I dunno, Id judge it on a case by case process. Im sure that you’d be an exception though either way
Thank you, kind sir
your very welcome my lady, or considering your screen name,
your welcome, friendsname???