What do I do when denied RCIA?


I’m 27 years old with a 4 year old son. My history is married highschool sweetheart out of highschool. Married 2 years and divorces. A few years later my son was born but I never married his father. I live with my boyfriend, and we own a home together. He is Catholic I am not. I have never been baptized, and neither was my ex husband. My current boyfriend has been married twice. Both marriages not Cahtolic, and married at Justice of the Peace. I started going through RCIA in September, and I just got the heartbreaking news yesterday that because of my cuurent way of living I cannot turn Catholic or get Baptized. It was so very important to me to do this for myself and my family. I cannot go back and change my living situation due to us woning the home together, and it’s not financilly possible for us to do that. I also do not want to move my son from his stabile environment. I feel like I’m being judged and not welcomed to better my future and my families future. I felt that doing this was in the right direction to what I felt was the right thing to do.

Please help me understand, and guide me in the right direction.



Dear Ajohnson,

After re-reading your qustion, I have had to re-write this answer. If the two of you refrain from marital relations until you are married in the Catholic Church, there will be no reason for you not to go through RCIA. But I really question the stability of your current relationship. I think you need to live apart and re-think your relationship. He’s been married twice and you haven’t got the greatest history either.

You are in my prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

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