What do I do when I feel that I have lost my wife?


I need help! My wife and I are catholic and we were married in the catholic church. I have recently discovered that my wife has been having an affair with another man via her cell phone. I do not know if it went any further than just talking. She denies any physical relations with him.

The phone conversations started in February and ended in October when I discovered the phone logs. February is also the approximate time that my wife lost interest in having sex with me.

Although we are still together, I am terribly unhappy. I no longer trust her. Whenever she runs errands and is not home I am in total misery. She no longer treats me with love or affection. I feel that I have lost her.

I have never felt so completely alone. I have not mentioned this to any of my friends because I am reluctant to have people think badly of my wife. I do not know how long I continue to live in this misery.

My whole life is consumed with this. I am constantly praying for guidance and for God to save our marriage. I cannot focus on anything. I have lost interest in everything. I have lost my appetite and eat very little. I have to take sleeping pills to go to sleep only to wake up long before I should I lay there in bed beside my wife in misery.

When I try to talk to her about what I am going through it usually ends in a fight. I would feel better if my wife would at least show some affection and compassion. Little things like holding hands or hugging would go a long way towards healing my pain. I need help, guidance and prayers. I do not know what to do or where to turn. I need God to take this burden from me.



Dear Friend,

This web site may be of some help to you:


This program is call Retrouvaille (pronounded ‘retrovi’. I will be praying that your wife will be willing to cooperate. Write again if I can be of help.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

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