what do i do?

I think I might be made to miss mass tomorrow

my mom has been very moody lately due to health issues and says she’s tired of church. I was going to go to mass today but she needed me this afternoon to help sign some papers and then we ended up shopping so I was stuck my parents and unable to go to mass. tomorrow they decided they want to go camping and we have to leave at 8 in the morning. I can try and refuse to go but that would just cause a huge blow up that I can’t deal with right now. my best bet is looking up mass times where we’re going and hope I convince my dad to drive me but if that doesn’t work out, then I guess i’ll miss it. which causes me a lot of distress because I hate missing mass.

anything else I could do? anything I should have done differently?

Use your judgement. Don’t kill anyone from stress.

“Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.”
“I plead with you! Never, ever give up on hope, never doubt, never tire, and never become discouraged. Be not afraid.”
“If He asks much of you, it is because He knows you can give much.”

  • St Pope John Paul II

It’s a tough one alright, you should be respectful to your parents, try to do the right thing by them, within reason, but then you also have your own life and personal obligations,
I can understand you get torn between different responsibilities ,
if you live with your parents, then I guess you just need to be patient ,
Even if it drives you to the brink of insanity… Focus and work saving money ,
So that in time you can have your own house and your own lifestyle ,
You could also have a family discussion and explain your an adult and need a bit of space,
And remind them that they were once your age,and wouldn’t they have wanted a bit of space and self determination,

sorry this is so late… in such cases I try to contact the Pastor in my parish to ask for a release from the Sunday obligation.
Our pastor has an email account that he checks often, the teens like to text, so one can often leave a message and he’ll call back or text as appropriate.
Perhaps this is also available to you?

IMHO, you are in a rock and a hard place, if you do end up having to miss Mass, given that you are not in total control of the situation - I wouldn’t stress too much. As soon as possible goto confession, give a brief explanation, and let father absolve you.

What I would do… take my breviary and pray the LOTH while with them… if you don’t have one, go to the USCCB site and print out the Mass readings for the day and meditate on those, not as good as Mass; however, you will have set time aside to honor the Lord’s day as best as you can.

By what you tell, your mother might be a bit depressed due to her health issues, and shee needs you at this time. May I suggest that you spend the Sunday with her and don’t let it show that you are disappointed. You can discreetly investigate if there is a Mass near the place that you can attend.

God bless you angel…
Since you are in college, and your family has a history of asking a lot from you, I would respectfully ask that your personal spirituality be respected by both of them. It’s not too much to ask. You are willing to help (as much as a blind person can help her mother sign papers) and you love your parents, (that’s clear enough), but at some point they have to permit you to worship when you must, and that an hour wait will not ruin anything. They are also Catholics. It’s their personal business if they choose to skip Mass, but you can make it clear that you prefer not to miss intentionally, for the sake of your soul.
People of all ages have boundaries. When we truly love, we can make allowances for each other. Right now, it seems a bit of a one-way street dear. No disrespect to you mom.

As far as I have ever known, there is no need to be ‘released’ by a Priest from your Mass obligation if you are legitimately unable to attend. I’m from a very Catholic family with a couple of Priests and have never been told this before.

You are always able to make what is called a spiritual communion in this circumstance which simply means having the great desire to receive Christ in the way of communion when you can’t do so literally. Here is a prayer that you might recite… Act of Spiritual Communion by St. Alphonsus Liguori (A.D. 1696-1787)

My Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Blessed Sacrament. I love You above all things and I desire You in my soul. Since I cannot now receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. As though You were already there, I embrace You and unite myself wholly to You; permit not that I should ever be separated from You.

For serious reasons, such as an illness, care of an infant, even if you have to work to provide for the family, the CCC makes note of this:
(for example, illness, the care of infants) or dispensed by their own pastor.119 Those who deliberately fail in this obligation commit a grave sin.2181 unless excused for a serious reason
So, in OP’s case, would a formal release be required… IDK; however, it might provide peace of mind.

Perhaps it varies on a regional basis? I know that I grew up in a cyclone prone region where sometimes once a year when a cyclone was looming Sunday masses would be cancelled and all Catholics dispensed from their obligation. One year in another region it was even Christmas mass. Also if someone was working in a remote region for an extended length of time without a nearby Mass, they could check in with the Priest prior to this. However for one off situations like the OPs, we have never been advised to seek a formal dispensation.

A tornado, blizzard, etc… would fall under the 2181as a serious reason… no one of sound mind would argue that point.

An individual that was/is working in a remote location, that would to me be conditional on location and availability of transportation etc… Given that, we’re not expected to do the impossible and I’d suspect that someone such as an active duty military in a remote location, or a research scientist in the depths of the amazon jungle wouldn’t have to worry about the conditions of 2181 either.

As for OP, please look at my 2nd paragraph… did I not mention that it sounds as if this was outside of OP’s control and not to stress? :slight_smile:
Seeking dispensation when possible, IMHO, the ideal route and merely a suggestion to OP to help with the stress that is evident in the post. I’m quite shocked that people seem to need to take a bat to my head for mentioning it. :crutches:

Yes, seeking dispensation when possible is a reasonable suggestion.

But indicating that the OP would need to go to confession over this, if they don’t seek dispensation, is only going to add to their stress already. You imply that she will be committing mortal sin. This is absurd when she clearly wants to get to mass but probably can’t due to factors beyond her control - in which case, as LongingSoul notes, a dispensation is not required - the reasons themselves excuse mass attendance.

One suggestion (seek dispensation) may help alleviate stress, but the other suggestion (go to confession) heaps stress upon her stress.

I so wholeheartedly agree with the previous poster.

The poor girl doesn’t NEED absolving! As you have admitted, she is not in total control of the situation. It isn’t her choice not to go to Mass, so how can she be committing a mortal sin?

It’s not fair to plant ideas of needing absolution. she has enough stress as it is.

twist it anyway you want… I give up…
:blackeye: :stretcher:



Ignore my post… apparently I am ignorant donkey.

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