What do I tell my toddler about my lesbian sister and her "wife"?

What I was scared of for a few years just happened. My toddler started asking questions about who is the second woman appearing in the pictures my sister sends me from time to to time. My sister is a lesbian and lives in partnership with another woman. In two weeks they are coming to visit and my little girl will probably ask again who is the woman with Aunty. Last year they were also visiting but my kid was too small and I don’t think she remembers them. How do I handle this?

Regarding the photographs, that is the easy one to answer. “That is Miss Vicky. She is a friend of Aunt Lisa’s.” As for the visit, you will probably have to give the heads-up to your sister that you plan to introduce your child to them by names only, without reference to relationships. “I plan to introduce you and Vicky to Ginny as ‘Aunt Lisa’ and ‘Miss Vicky.’ Please pass on to Vicky that this is the title I prefer that Ginny use to speak to her.”

If your sister will not agree, or if she and her partner undermine your authority in this decision in any way, you will have to let them know that you will not be able to allow any more visits between them and your child for the time being until you believe your child is old enough to understand. Let them know that you very much want your child to know them and to love them, but that you need their cooperation in not deliberately undermining how you teach your child about your beliefs.

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