What do Protestants think of those who are unmarried?

First of all I know that the answer is going to depend on the denomination, so I’m sure that it depends on the view of the church.

That being said, how do Protestants and especially bible believing protestants, feel about those who remain single either by choice or through no fault of their own? I’ve always wondered about this because in a lot of protestant churches, they seem to emphasize the whole idea of man not being alone and especially in bible believing churches, they take this to mean god has promised everyone a spouse.

So is it frowned upon to choose to be single in most protestant groups? I’ve only asked one of my friends who attends an Evangelical church (E- Free church) and his thought was that unless someone dedicated their life to God and the church (say a pastor) it could be okay. However I got the feeling that this was more the exception than the rule though he did mention Paul made mention of single hood being a higher state.

Also, what about those that can’t be married (i.e. those unable to consummate or consent to marriage due to mental disabilities and the like).

I don’t quite know the official position of our church, but let me give you my experience:

  1. Those that can’t marry (for whatever reason) are looked on with love and affection.

  2. Those that can marry and become one flesh and start a family are fulfilling God’s command and are looked on with love and affection.

  3. Those that could marry, and yet chose not to are called to remove what stumbling block they have to fulfill God’s command. They are treated with love and affection and get attention from the pastor and those that can help them grow in Christ.

Lutherans provide marriage counseling both before and after, and we invite children to the table of the Lord and they are present in out Divine Service (Mass) - the noise of a newborn child is a good noise: A sign that God’s church is growing.

The LCMS in particular spends a lot of money and time in K-12 education.

Well some Protestants I have met view it as not “normal” because one is not married. I am not sure what they mean exactly? I am not married. :shrug:

I know a group of charismatic-movement protestants (they are definitely “bible believers”, but a different tribe than the southern evangelicals) who say marriage is not a requirement for heaven. It may become the reality for nine out of ten individuals, and definitely helps us, but it’s not required.

I think this to me seems more like my friend and the evangelicals i knew who weren’t really baptist oriented (for the most part) but were bible believing and all that. I guess my next question is how would churches that see those who aren’t married as “not normal” help out a person? For example does it get is petty as “well johnny you need to lose weight and get a better job so you can provide for the bride christ has picked for you” even if Johnny is perfectly okay with himself in all areas of life? I just feel it could lead to problems.

Also just as an aside, CS Lewis though he did marry later in life, did seem to be content with the fact that he after a certain point didn’t think he’d be married. Granted he was a high church Anglican.

From my experience in the Evangelical world, people there are actually less likely to ridicule you for not being married. I have had more ridicule from secular people.

However my Mormon friends say that single Mormons are put under a lot of pressure to marry.

Thats because for them marriage is a requirement for entrance into the highest heaven and the propagation of heavenly children in the afterlife.

They might not ridicule you, but is there genuine worry? Or is it just that they don’t care as long as you are following God? Also I knew this about the Mormons because of their emphasis on family as well as their belief in eternal progression (the belief that when they die they become the God of their own planet and have spirit children with their wives.

Genuine worry? :confused:

If you are single and are following God why should anyone be worried?

Quote from WildCatholic “They might not ridicule you, but is there genuine worry? Or is it just that they don’t care as long as you are following God?”

I don’t think my denomination (Assemblies of God) has an official stance on this but there is no pressure put on single people to marry and they are not ostracized for being single. In my experience, more of the pressure to marry comes from meddling individuals rather than from a body of believers.

And being single is not necessarily a “bad” thing. St.John and St.Paul were single. Some remain single,while others marry.

I agree 100%. Each individual is divinely and uniquely made. What He has for some is not necessarily what he has for all.

What I find however, in both Protestant and Catholic Churches is that when it comes to talking or teaching about Biblical femininity, the talk inevitably centers around wifehood and motherhood, leaving me out. That is fine with me however each and every activity for women center on being a good wife and mother. Activities for men may include talks on being a good husband and father but it does not make up the sum total of their activities.

Lucky for me there are activities open to both men and women that I can participate in, such as financial management classes or Bible studies.


I sure hope there aren’t any Protestant churches they treat unmarried people that way. My church doesn’t, they welcome those that are single with open arms, just like all the married couples. It is not Christian behavior to do anything else.

That’s too bad, because when one considers the horrible situation with fatherhood here in America, it is obvious we should be spending more time focusing on husband-hood and fatherhood.


I think we are starting to focus more on it though, granted the secular world has a Looooooooooooonnnnnggggg way to go in recognizing fatherhood as important. In most churches though it seems like the emphasis on fatherhood is growing

That they are people created by God and worthy of love. That’s what ‘Protestants’ think of unmarried people.

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