Dear DATING 101. You've been gettings heaps upon heaps of good advice here.
Let me throw something in from the point of view of cold hard logic. You were speaking of contradictions. You have an actual contradiction when the same woman wants two things that exclude each other. You have a real contradiction when that woman simply doesn't know whatever she wants, rather than merely wishing she could have both the material means and a man home (which is not exactly a contradiction on her part, since she doesn't wish for two things that are strictly, mutually exclusive by their nature, but she's simply at odds with tough reality). But anyway, when one woman wants this and ther other wants that, there's no contradiction because that's two different women. Would you like for all of them to be exactly the same as each other?
You will need to find one who understands. That is, understands that there are trade-offs in life and you can't have all the things you'd wish for, but generally, simply, understands. From that point you can work out the rest unless you're radically not on the same page as to how much time together versus material means (/career/social position/whatever).
[quote="Binary, post:3, topic:246655"]
In retrospect I feel ashamed that I approached women as a problem to be solved rather than just trying to get to know people who happen to be women. Even in trying to be respectful I was in a sense being objectifying. I wish I knew how such a bad idea got planted in my head.
Yeah, I've started just getting to know them of late, without pressure etc., and sort of letting life take its course. On the other hand, I still solve them because problems a problem's got to be solved. :p Just kidding. :p
[quote="cmscms, post:4, topic:246655"]
If a man has to mow the lawn for example, that is time away from work and family. A man who hires someone to do the lawn then has that time for family.
A woman who feels overwhelmed needs to rest. A man who would pay for a baby sitter is precious as opposed to a man who thinks 'well if you are just going to watch TV then why do you need a sitter'CM
Good point, plus, men are different from each other and I'm sure women understand this when they grow up, although sometimes with difficulty. Generally, most women probably understand you can't be the 80-hours-a-week carreer man, followed by delivering all the repairs around the house by his very hand (how manly), somehow managing to spend a few hours with the kids, then having time (and strength and eagerness) for romance, in addition to preferably a couple of duties at the parish or local community. This is a pretty individual, personal equation, so you basically need to find someone you click with (talking to the OP right now). Cultural differences, types of education and other background etc. may have very much to do with it.
[quote="EasterJoy, post:8, topic:246655"]
Yes. You don't find the best wife by being something you're not. You become the best version of yourself, you are honest and expect honesty, and then, with some prudence, you'll attract a woman right for you.
Honestly, OP, if you make yourself into the best spouse and parent material that is natural to you to be, you will have to concern yourself more about not attracting the wrong one (the one who wants you for selfish reasons) than putting off the right one.
Why am I babbling anyway. EJ told you what you need to know.
If this is any consolation, 101, I worked until 6 a.m. on Saturday. And then until 11 p.m. On the other hand, I can go on a holiday whenever I want and my cash balance allows. Tried looking into running your own business? Chicks dig it. I guess.