First, we are players, not the Referee.
Protestants spend way to much time, energy and spiritual gas trying to sort out who is and is not counted among the elect.
To be a baptised Christian or a person who loves Christ and desires baptism, is to be counted among the redeemed, not the elect.
Whether we finish the race, as Paul said, is going to be determined by private conversation between God and the soul immediately after death and God will do all the taking. At the Great Judgement, all secrets will be on the table and everyones work will be brought to light.
That should humble us. All this breeze about who is saved, who is not, who is a carnal Christian, is mostly swamp gas. Paddle your own canoe, walk humbly with your God and forgive injuries from both outright enemies and the slights of friends.
That said, I am humbled by the fact that baptism, as Sacrament instituted by Christ, is not, contrary to our friends of the Puritan and Baptist traditions, a matter of indifference.
Except ye be born again OF WATER AND…
The Phillipian jailor wanted everyone in his family baptised immediately!
Children, likely, included. They do not get to 'Choose for Themselves". They are called from infancy by the deposit of Faith of their parents and they are Christian. Whether the graces are effective depends on how the family and Church live the Gospel before them and catechize them.
The Ethiopian Eunuch pleaded for Phillip to baptise him as soon as he saw water and as soon as the baptism was complete Phillip was carried away. This is a clear sign that some thing actually happens at the point of baptism.
We do not ‘baptize’ ourselves, but for the sacrament to be fruitful, we must cooperate with grace.
For the protestant concern about Gods sovereignty, your take, if you think about it puts you in charge and makes God a kind of waiter you comp with ceremonial tips.
If sacraments are just obedient memorials, are they not a form of Godliness that denies the power there of?
I offer these with respect. I love my dear Christ loving baptist friends, and I love the fact that you want to follow the Christly way of the early Church.
In time you will realize that when you look at core values, the early Church was more like Catholicism than bible chapel fundamentalism.
Yours in the love of Jesus