What do you do about unwanted visits from in-laws?

I come from a large family with six siblings. Our youngest sister is very close to our sister-in-law and has begun inviting all of the sister-in-law’s family members (mother, father, cousin, brother and his wife) to events such as Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving.

One would expect to see our sister-in-law’s family at functions at her house and even at our younger sister’s house (if she chooses to invite them); but now they seem to be popping up at every event (at other siblings’ houses) because they are invited by the younger sister.

First, am I wrong in not wishing to be constantly exposed to this in-law family? And second, how do I handle the dynamics that come up when the younger sister is angered if anyone has anything to say about the sister-in-law’s family?!

By virtue of the marriage connecting you, these people should be considered family, not strangers intruding upon the privacy of a family gathering. The only legitimate reason I could see for resentment on your part to their attendance at family events would be if your younger sister invited these people to your house without your foreknowledge and permission. If that is the case, then gently explain to her that your house simply cannot accommodate so many people and that perhaps it would be better to choose another larger venue for the event next time.

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