What do you do when a love feels so right but is very wrong?


#1

My sister is falling in love. She has two kids from a previous marriage gone disasterous! She is not practicing any religion right now and he is catholic. (what is it about catholic guys that make women fall in love anyway :D) She is divorced seeking annulment. They have been good friends for litle over two years now. And that was fine until they discovered they loved each other. Then no more hanging out as friends, because they both felt more than friendship with each other. He has told her that according to his faith she is still married even though divorced. It is possible she could get an annulment. But in the mean time they cannot see each other or ANYTHING! Everything is wrong. But they both agree that their union would be wonderful… he adores her kdis and they him, they fit together like nothing youve ever seen before. The light in their eyes can be seen on the brightest of days. They really do love each other. Just cant be together. So, she is wondering what is she supposed to do with her love. She claims he is her soul mate and she cant think of ever living her life without him.

But if his faith prevents them from being together, where do they go from here? They both say. “Not even thinkable to say ‘goodbye’.” She/they really need some advice here.


#2

See a priest would be my 1st advice. She must seek an annulment. Than can maintain a chaste friendship - if they’re worried about temptation can go out with groups of people instead of just the 2 of them. But first and foremost speak to a priest.


#3

[quote=Worthy Of Love]…She is not practicing any religion right now and he is catholic. (what is it about catholic guys that make women fall in love anyway :D) She is divorced seeking annulment.
But if his faith prevents them from being together, where do they go from here? They both say. “Not even thinkable to say ‘goodbye’.” She/they really need some advice here.
[/quote]

I’d suggest her attending RCIA at the local parish and also go to Mass. It might be wise to see if she wants to be Catholic first. If she doesn’t this might cool the relationship anyhow. He may want to marry a Catholic. During the time it takes for her to become Catholic, they can work out the annulment thing with the Priest. Has she decided to become Catholic? Was her past marriage with a Catholic? I don’t know, but it seems that could make some difference in how this is resolved.


#4

[quote=Worthy Of Love]My sister is falling in love. She has two kids from a previous marriage gone disasterous! She is not practicing any religion right now and he is catholic. (what is it about catholic guys that make women fall in love anyway :D) She is divorced seeking annulment. They have been good friends for litle over two years now. And that was fine until they discovered they loved each other. Then no more hanging out as friends, because they both felt more than friendship with each other. He has told her that according to his faith she is still married even though divorced. It is possible she could get an annulment. But in the mean time they cannot see each other or ANYTHING! Everything is wrong. But they both agree that their union would be wonderful… he adores her kdis and they him, they fit together like nothing youve ever seen before. The light in their eyes can be seen on the brightest of days. They really do love each other. Just cant be together. So, she is wondering what is she supposed to do with her love. She claims he is her soul mate and she cant think of ever living her life without him.

But if his faith prevents them from being together, where do they go from here? They both say. “Not even thinkable to say ‘goodbye’.” She/they really need some advice here.
[/quote]

First advice:tell her to see a DIOCESAN priest close to her, not one run by a religious order. Call her Diocese’s “marriage Tribunal Office.” To get more information. Lastly, see the NEW CODE OF CANON LAW, anything ubder the current church laws on marriage, just to make sure that whatever a PRIEST tells you, is in ACCORD with the Canon of the Church.


#5

Love always wants the best for the beloved.

Your sister may very well have a case that her first marriage wasn’t valid. (As already stated, she should look into that.) But I know of Catholics who date a divorced person, only to learn in the middle of wedding plans that an annulment wasn’t granted and the first marriage is considered valid. :eek:

Until an annulment is granted, your sister shouldn’t put the man she likes in the situation of maybe having to choose between his faith and her. That’s a no win situation. If he chooses his faith, she feels hurt. If he chooses her, he may some day regret his choice and resent her.

With the divorce and all, I’m sure your sister must hurt. This man may look like he can fix that, but only God can heal our deepest pains.

She now has the wonderful opportunity to explore the Catholic faith and develop her relationship with God. Maybe that’s why God put this man in her life in the first place–to lead her and her children to His Church so they can all know His love!

Her children must be hurting from the divorce. It’s nice that the whole family gets along with this man, but if things don’t work out the children will be hurt yet again by a father figure. God is the Loving Father that they (and all of us) need.

If she asked my advice, I’d suggest she put her love and energy into raising her children while she looks into the Catholic faith and the annulment question. And she should pray. Pray for herself, her children, the man she cares about, and and even her ex-hubbie, (who I suspect put her in this situation.) I pray that she finds the Love that surpasses all earthly loves.


#6

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