What do you do?


My Priest during confession last week mentioned to me about leading my family to Communion, among other things. So men, do you actually lead your family to Communion? I usually let my family go in front of me, with me bringing up the rear. Wrong?, or did I just misunderstand. Blessings…


Was your priest speaking about physically leading your family to communion? Or was he speaking more in symbolics, both about leading and also about communion? Without hearing what the priest said we can only speculate.

I know a priest may say something like, “You should be first in line for Communion!” which usually should not be interpreted literally. I would interpret that to mean that your life should be ordered towards making sure you, your wife, and your children (assuming all are Catholic) are ready to receive. This implies some planning ahead, both long term and short term. In other words, you need to make sure your family has the proper religious education, regularly go to confession, are in good relationship with each other, allot time to go to Mass, have transportation and clean clothes available, fast for the proper time period, and anything else necessary to make sure your family can and wants to receive communion.


Hmmm, interesting. I’ve seen couples who stand side by side. But, my DH always let me go first. I’m interested to hear what others have to say.

God bless!


Thanks for the reply. We were talking about the man being the spiritual head of household and such when this was said. I didn’t know if it was symbolic, or actually lead your family to Communion. I was just going over it in my head and thought I’d ask.


Exactly, I always let my family go in front of me, but seems to be a 50/50 mix at my Parish, and with what the Priest said and all, just wondered what everyone else did, not that it really matters, unless it does, just a conversation. Blessings…


Hmm, sounds symbolic to me, too. My DH always lets me go first, and I’ve seen other men do likewise, but I’ve also seen it the other way around, as well as couples standing side by side, too. I don’t think there’s a set way it has to be done with respect to who goes first.


The husband/father is the spiritual head of his household. As such, he should, out of love for those in his care allow his family (especially the female members) to go first. Metaphorically, he is sheparding them to Christ.

I often see men go up before their wives and children. I believe that this is done more out of an ignorance of basic courtesy than anything else. I see the same men would not hold a door open for a lady or they may wear their hat at a restaurant. Many are lacking in basic social graces.


Thanks for the comments. God bless…


Wow, call us backward or something, but whoever is at the end of the row goes up first in our family. I can’t imagine what mass would be like if every family were jockeying for position or lining up because there is supposed to be some kind of special order. But that’s just me… :shrug:


I think that’s pretty accurate in many cases. It’s simply not something some people think about.

:smiley: Good point! Right now, it’s just my wife and two little ones, so it’s not too hard for me to step aside once I exit the pew and let her go first (as she carries one child and I carry the other). Once we have more children and the ones we have are old enough where they walk up on their own, I imagine it will be a different story! Even now, when our oldest is being a bit distracting, I have on occassion just gone straight up. Kids certainly change the dynamic!


I’m old school. I go by myself, and since I’m usually on aisle, I let the pew go out in front of me, especially if there are women and children.


This is how I’d interpret it also. The spiritual preparation being most important, but the temporal prep being appreciated so much by you wife. Often it is the wife who is the time keeper and has to cut the kids off from breakfast in order to keep the fast. :wink: So simple things like checking that dress shoes are in pairs by the door the night before, setting an alarm, helping to get the kids up and ready, etc. Or when traveling, to make sure you know where the closest parish is and what the Mass times are. Probably the most help is as the kids get a bit older and weekend activities start getting crazy, to make sure that time is set aside for Mass (or if you have to go at separate times that everyone in the family gets to Mass each weekend–even if you have to go twice to get them all there!)


Not to change the subject, but wouldn’t this mean climbing all over everyone while you’re returning to your seat? That would be a little awkward…


Not really, as I exit the pew I take a small step back, family exits and I follow, pretty easy.
Cant have small kids leading the pack, who knows where they’d end up on the return trip back, wife in front, me pulling up the rear, 3 little ones in the middle.

But it all depends on where we initally sit, usually we’re in the correct order.:thumbsup:


Thats a good interpertation, probably what he meant. Thanks…


No, I usually sit down on the other end of the aisle, or just go to the pew behind me.
It’s not that bad, really.


I’m glad that your answer wasn’t: “You’re supposed to stick around after Communion???”



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