What do you think I should do?


#1

I posted this question in Ask an Aplogetic, but was also interested in hearing for this community as well.

My wife and I divorced 4 years ago. I knew of her STD, more specifically genital warts before getting married. Knowing full well it ment I would possibly get them we still got married and I did get them. I have 2 daughters (in my custody) from that marriage and am quite happy as a single father. However, I did plan on finding another wife and possibly a mother for my girls seeing as theirs is not in the picture. I have been reading much in these forums as I find my way back to the Church. I was some what disheartend when I found out that I should not ever consider marriage again. However, I can understand the logic and am quite willing to stay unmarried for the rest of my life seeing it as my punsihment for my lack of obidence to God in my past. My question though is, should I find a mate to help with the female side of raising 2 daughters? Someone that would possibly be willing to live with me as brother and sister or something to that affect? Any advice on the subject would be most appriciated.


#2

I’ve heard from others that it might be possible to do if it is a strictly platonic relationship, but in reality that can be very difficult to achieve. What are the reasons for the divorce, was it done through the Church, was she baptised, etc.


#3

[quote=JackmanUSC]I’ve heard from others that it might be possible to do if it is a strictly platonic relationship, but in reality that can be very difficult to achieve. What are the reasons for the divorce, was it done through the Church, was she baptised, etc.
[/quote]

No we where married at a court house. At confession a few years ago my priest explained to me that it was not considered a marriage in the eyes of the church. That marriage was in a time when I was not practicing and was living life as I saw fit, obviouse mistake. :slight_smile:
I’ve grown alot since then and in the process have rediscover my Catholic Faith. I’m now working on fixing my past errors and this is a sticky one. I would like to remarry always thought of having more kids and a family, but I don’t belive that is possible now.


#4

[quote=OnMyWayHome]No we where married at a court house. At confession a few years ago my priest explained to me that it was not considered a marriage in the eyes of the church. That marriage was in a time when I was not practicing and was living life as I saw fit, obviouse mistake. :slight_smile:
I’ve grown alot since then and in the process have rediscover my Catholic Faith. I’m now working on fixing my past errors and this is a sticky one. I would like to remarry always thought of having more kids and a family, but I don’t belive that is possible now.
[/quote]

I have ‘gone thru the process’ of anullment (sp?). Even secular marriages ARE seen as marriages “in the eyes of the church”. It was my current husband (not a Catholic at the time) who had been previously “married in a court house” who had to get the anullment so that our marriage could be blessed in the church.

You need to speak to the marriage tribunal in your diocese. You must get an anulment if you intend to remarry in the church. Your reasons for anulment are probably valid, but that will be determined by the tribunal.

Blessings on your ‘journey’,
Angel


#5

[quote=OnMyWayHome]I posted this question in Ask an Aplogetic, but was also interested in hearing for this community as well.

My wife and I divorced 4 years ago. I knew of her STD, more specifically genital warts before getting married. Knowing full well it ment I would possibly get them we still got married and I did get them. I have 2 daughters (in my custody) from that marriage and am quite happy as a single father. However, I did plan on finding another wife and possibly a mother for my girls seeing as theirs is not in the picture. I have been reading much in these forums as I find my way back to the Church. I was some what disheartend when I found out that I should not ever consider marriage again. However, I can understand the logic and am quite willing to stay unmarried for the rest of my life seeing it as my punsihment for my lack of obidence to God in my past. My question though is, should I find a mate to help with the female side of raising 2 daughters? Someone that would possibly be willing to live with me as brother and sister or something to that affect? Any advice on the subject would be most appriciated.
[/quote]

Yes as the other posters have said you should speak to your pastor or the diocese, but may I ask where you saw that you “should not ever consider marriage again”??? If you receive an annulment and find a person willing to marry within the Church, I do not understand where the post would be coming from. Can you find it??? Thanks and God Bless.


#6

Why are you under the impression you can never marry again? Is this based on your prior marriage or the STD?

From what I understand, you are a Catholic who was married outside the Church. You should be able to go through the process to have your marriage examined regarding its validity. If it is found invalid, you would be able to marry. Of course, if it’s found valid you would not.

As for the STD, it is not an impediment to marriage. Of course, you would need to seek medical guidance as well as spiritual guidance and be up-front with your future spouse.


closed #7

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