Best wishes to you @LaughingBoy1503 on your upcoming marriage. I remember your posts from the old CAF and I am glad you found your future wife. May Gid bless both of you.
Easily? I don’t know your experience but it’s not so for many.
The thing is Ave Maria is expensive and the pool is much smaller. I live close to L.A. and there were only about 12 women in my age range to message and most of them had profiles on Catholicmatch anyways. If you have the money then great but if I had to recommend only one site, and I have joined them all, I would recommend Catholicmatch
I don’t think blanket statements like this are helpful. For some people, staying within a local radius is OK. For others, meeting people far and wide is a good option.
I lived in TX (in the 4th largest city in the nation) and not only did I not meet anyone in my local parish, once on Ave I only meet two people in TX. One of them was just a colossal jerk, the other was divorced/annulled but still very bitter and hurt by his ex and in no shape to date. The others I met and actually dated were from other states: OK, KS, MO, CA and WI.
My husband was the last one-- WI. We dated for 2 years. We’ve been married 13. Long distance worked for us. But it certainly isn’t for everyone. People need to know and understand themselves, what sacrifices they are willing to make, whether they have the temperament for long distance, the resources for it (time/money) and what they want out of a relationship, whether they are willing to move, etc.
I decided that after being very involved with my own parish and meeting a lot of men in my city over a number of years, none of whom turned into romantic relationships, that I needed to do something different and this was the right move for me.
Agreed. My husband said that I was the only woman who wrote back to him.
Also, I got eliminated by one dude because I was a convert. People online treat it like some sort of click-box-buffet where they want to narrow down their search criteria and be super picky. I think that’s a mistake. You have to treat people with dignity and respect and as other people, not as something to order off an Amazon stock shelf.
online dating can be just as frustrating as traditional dating. I found it to be the right move for me.
One guy I talked to, but never met because I met my DH so I ended discussions with the other dude, actually found his now wife locally through mutual friends while he was on the site-- shortly after meeting me. He didn’t limit his opportunities to online, he was open to all possibilities, and it worked out for him.
It’s sad that the dude eliminated you because you are a convert. Hubby is a convert and I’m a cradle Catholic. We say that we have the best of both worlds - the zeal of a convert coupled with the faith formation experience and family support of a cradle Catholic. Not to mention Hubby has an incredible conversion story. His experience has helped to solidify my faith.
I was going to mention LaugjingBoy and his success story, but beat me to it.
I am also on Cm but so far none. I have had experiences. For example one guy we started off havinf things to talk about, it was interesting he later suggested moving to Whatsapp, so we did. Later on he stopped replyinf to my last message so I left it at that. Then he reappeared a month later asking for videochat. I said i am ok with it, but no reply again. When my birthday came up, he greeted me. I said thanks and asks how he is, no reply.
People say if you are female wait to be contacted. I disagree, i do not get lots of views except as of late. With Cm and most sites, your location matters. I find that most people cant be bothered with a long distance relatio ship. Cant blame them either.
Everyone complains of scammers and creeps, yet my complaint is that there is none of them, in the sense of no one messaged me or replying to my messages. Bad messages are better than totally nada, zero interaction. This is the problem.
Just for th record, I used to be on AMS, but it was there that I messaged with a guy whom I had to block eventually on my Fb and phone. And there are even fewer people there.
I agree that if a woman wants to do some reaching out instead of waiting to be messaged she should absolutely do it. It was very rare I got messaged first by women but the times it did happen I was quite shocked and kind of flattered.
The fact that I live in a heavily populated area of Southern California and because of the heavily Mexican population, that happens to be majority Catholic, there were lots of women for me to message at any given time. Unfortunately I have heard a lot of people say that there is not a lot of people to connect with from their area.
I have had a few scammers try to trick me. They are normally easy to catch though. It normally starts with a message from a drop dead gorgeous woman who claims to have been college educated and from the USA but when you begin exchanging messages she claims she temporarily lives overseas and English is obviously not the persons first language. Bad grammar despite claiming to be college educated and when you say that you are not interested they get pretty aggressive in trying to get you to still talk to them. Now I know darn well that no woman who looks like she could be a movie stars wife is going to be chasing after me like that lol. I am average looking at best.
I commend you for putting yourself out there and trying. There is always hope. All it takes is one person to answer you or reach out to you. Good luck and God bless because believe me I know that its a jungle out there in the online dating world.
My husband and I met on Catholicmatch.
Even though I had a bad experience with the site (I was banned), after checking out similar sites I would still recommend it. The site does have good built-in security and the Catholic Match tries to keep their community safe, to a fault. The downside is that they have a zero tolerance policy and will not show any empathy for your situation. I think it's the best Catholic dating site so if you decide to join, play by the rules and use your better judgment otherwise they aren't shy about banning you. If they decide to cancel your membership, they will refund you the full amount. In addition there is a longreading overview of this site here https://gloriousbride.com/
This topic was automatically closed 14 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.