What do you think? [warning dumb long rant]


#1

Anything is possible through faith (within GOOD reason of course)

But, why is it SO hard to keep faith when your faith requires you to to believe in something that there is tremendous odds against, how come some people can keep faith no matter what without losing it, and other’s can’t.

Seems like a rant, kind of is, but I’ve done a fair bit in the last few months to amend my life from my erroneous ways. My bible reading and studying amount has risen up like 1000% when compared to a few months ago. I learn as much as I can about the faith, pray way more, say the rosary and I still believe I won’t have have a happy life in the future.

I don’t even have a “happy” life now, of course that is subjective, I bet someone in the world would love to trade places with me, but others still wouldn’t.

Nearly 20, never had a girlfriend, don’t have a job, currently on the borderline between pass and fail in uni, constantly getting agitated, can’t be motivated to do my uni work even though I enjoy it when I do.

Honestly, do I sound like I will ever get married, have a steady job, be emotionally stable, etc?

I bet the answer is no.

Some people no matter how much they pray, they don’t seem to ever be truly happy. Yet there are others who pray so much and are truly happy and then there is still more that don’t pray and are happy.


#2

Dear Brother in christ,
I have no magic formula’s or answers for you but couldn’t bear to see you plea unanswered.

Please be at peace, for our dear Lord will lead you in His ways.
You aer 19 years old and, while you have lived much and much is expected of you, you should not become discouraged about your life. Trust an old guy (52). I’ve been there.

Different people mature at different rates. So some of your peers may appear to have a better grasp than you while others just seem very immature. Then, of course, there are all of the friends saying, "Don’t be so serious"
Also, when we begin a regimen to try and improve ourselves, we can uncover things that we would rather not look at. Finally there is the idea of, “This should be easy”, Just believe and make it so.

Your post indicates that you are anxious about your future and that you are feeling great pressure at school. Things aren’t turning out as you think they should, or like you had hoped. Perhaps you should discuss these feelings with someone you trust. A Councilor, Priest or Deacon may be able to discern the source of your feelings of anxiety. They also may be able ot help you discern if you are on a truly fulfilling path.

I want to address some specific points in your post but will do that in a new response.

Peace

James


#3

Thanks James,

Interesting response, I must reflect on it, so it’s not “in one ear, and out the other”


#4

I’m not sure what you are refering to here. Which article(s) of faith is it that has tremendous odds against it?

There is a line in an old movie that says, “Faith is believing in something when your common sense tells you not to”. There can be a constant struggle within us between what we want to believe and what we see and hear around us every day. I’m sure this is especially true in College where there are so many conflicting emotions, teachings, and attitudes.

Seems like a rant, kind of is, but I’ve done a fair bit in the last few months to amend my life from my erroneous ways. My bible reading and studying amount has risen up like 1000% when compared to a few months ago. I learn as much as I can about the faith, pray way more, say the rosary and I still believe I won’t have have a happy life in the future.

I don’t even have a “happy” life now, of course that is subjective, I bet someone in the world would love to trade places with me, but others still wouldn’t.

Congratulations on the great strides you have made thus far. I mean that sincerely.

The fact that you still believe you won’t have have a happy life in the future is troubling. I sense that you are reaching into your faith to buttress a difficult time in your life and are not getting the peace you had hoped for.

Nearly 20, never had a girlfriend, don’t have a job, currently on the borderline between pass and fail in uni, constantly getting agitated, can’t be motivated to do my uni work even though I enjoy it when I do.

Honestly these things sound very much like a clinical depression but I am not a trained person, so don’t take my word for it. I really strongly suggest talking to a trusted advisor about these things.

Honestly, do I sound like I will ever get married, have a steady job, be emotionally stable, etc?

In all probability you will be just fine. Come-on -you’re 19 years old. Don’t try map out the entire rest of your life. Remember Christ’s words about worries. Don’t worry about tomorrow, the worries of today are sufficiant unto themselves.

I bet the answer is no.

Wrong! I think you going to be just fine.

Some people no matter how much they pray, they don’t seem to ever be truly happy. Yet there are others who pray so much and are truly happy and then there is still more that don’t pray and are happy.

We cannot know the heart of others. We also cannot know all the ways of God. Some people are content regardless of where they are or what they are called on to do. They feel that God puts them where He needs them. Others try to contest God’s will for them by praying for God’s will to also be their will instead of the other way around.

Note I used the word “content” instead of happiness. People who are truly happy are those who are truly content. Look around at the people who have had the most profound effects on your life. Odds are they are not great or famous people but rather people of principle and quiet courage. People who didn’t look for happiness anywhere but where they were. They were content that God had placed them there for a reason - and one of the reasons was to impress you.

May God Bless you on your Journey

James


#5

Very good post James!

I was just referring to my life or in general someone’s life when they odds are high.

There is a line in an old movie that says, “Faith is believing in something when your common sense tells you not to”. There can be a constant struggle within us between what we want to believe and what we see and hear around us every day. I’m sure this is especially true in College where there are so many conflicting emotions, teachings, and attitudes.

I guess

Congratulations on the great strides you have made thus far. I mean that sincerely.

The fact that you still believe you won’t have have a happy life in the future is troubling. I sense that you are reaching into your faith to buttress a difficult time in your life and are not getting the peace you had hoped for.

Well it’s like a see-saw really, one minute I feel like I’m on top of the world, then the next minute I feel like there is no way out.

Honestly these things sound very much like a clinical depression but I am not a trained person, so don’t take my word for it. I really strongly suggest talking to a trusted advisor about these things.

Don’t have one, and I’m not interested in getting a clinical statement of my mentality. What they will focus on is a secular way to beat depression.

In all probability you will be just fine. Come-on -you’re 19 years old. Don’t try map out the entire rest of your life. Remember Christ’s words about worries. Don’t worry about tomorrow, the worries of today are sufficiant unto themselves.

Very true, I often forget that bit in the Bible

Wrong! I think you going to be just fine.

We cannot know the heart of others. We also cannot know all the ways of God. Some people are content regardless of where they are or what they are called on to do. They feel that God puts them where He needs them. Others try to contest God’s will for them by praying for God’s will to also be their will instead of the other way around.

Note I used the word “content” instead of happiness. People who are truly happy are those who are truly content. Look around at the people who have had the most profound effects on your life. Odds are they are not great or famous people but rather people of principle and quiet courage. People who didn’t look for happiness anywhere but where they were. They were content that God had placed them there for a reason - and one of the reasons was to impress you.

May God Bless you on your Journey

James

Thanks a lot for your input James!

May God Bless you too. Thank you once again.


#6

Noob, (Excellent name, btw),

Your “dumb” rant sounds exactly like what I was facing a few years ago. My advice: muscle through it. Don’t count on having transcendent feelings of peace and joy. It takes a while to establish new habits such as praying or keeping your chin up in difficult times, but you simply must do it.

Unlike some religious traditions out there that promise presto-chango on-the-spot life transformations, Catholicism is for grown-ups. We rarely experience quick fixes. The end result, if you choose to accept the mission, is a deep, quiet, firm, confident, resilient faith that isn’t jarred loosed by the incessant earthquakes of life.

Be tough. Don’t pretend that you aren’t affected by your stresses. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and I promise it’ll turn out better than you can imagine.

That is all.


#7

Just one more quick comment then I’m off on errends.

I completely understand your reluctance to ask for a clinical evaluation. Often times I feel that they can be too quick to prescribe drugs and too lax on helping one deal with life on their own.

That being said, there are those in the clinical field who are spiritually - Christian centered. That is why I suggested a spiritual councilor such as a Priest or Deacon. If, after they talk with you at length, they feel you might benefit from a more “clinical” evaluaton they may be able to direct you. You may also be able to do a search on the internet and find people, or groups in your area that may be of help to you.

In the meantime you are in my prayers.

James


#8

Seems like a rant, kind of is, but I’ve done a fair bit in the last few months to amend my life from my erroneous ways.

You sound like me, so I do understand. I too wish that I would recieve some type of consolation, I don’t expect a miracle just a little something - sort like a pat on the back :wink: Something to let me know that I am at least on the right track! Just hang in there, life is a journey and prayer is a process. Often I feel like I’m getting nowhere, but then when I reflect on my past and where the path has led me to now - its then that I can see the “fruits of my labor”. I now have a better job and a degree, my kids are spiritually, mentally, and physically strong little people. There’s usually just one thing that eats at me too…

Honestly, do I sound like I will ever get married, have a steady job, be emotionally stable, etc?

I’m going to tell you that you are young and have your entire life ahead of you - I’m 20 years older than you so you’ve got to have a better chance at love than I do:D

Some people no matter how much they pray, they don’t seem to ever be truly happy. Yet there are others who pray so much and are truly happy and then there is still more that don’t pray and are happy.

I look at the world around me and see this same thing - its a very real fact I know. I don’t understand this and why God gives some people so much and some others he give so little. It would make more sense if he punished those who disregard him and comfort those of us who do try

Terri


#9

Offer up what you don’t want to do. Give it to Jesus as a gift so that he may shower graces down on you and the women he plans for you to merry.


#10

Women? Plural? :eek:

Sorry - couldn’t help myself.

James


#11

My dear One,

i can tell you that i do not and have not EVER had a happy life. i can tell you all the things i have gone through. For me, this is not necessary to post just now. There is meaning in my signature. i would like to tell my dear that the only only good thing in my life is God and the Catholic Church. i can tell you that God has been there for me always. He is the only love i have ever known. i don’t know why other people can not see Him. It seems so simple to me, when the breeze kicks up ever so slightly and touches your cheek, when the trees bow in homage, when the birds sing, when frogs at night sing a deep throated song, when lightning cuts the sky and the heavens heal. It is in these things, these simple things i know i am loved by Him. It is all for us, can you see? i can’t tell you why i have gone through such terror by the hands of others. But i know really know in my heart that i am to use my gift of sight to show others how i see God. Perhaps is why, i have gone through the things i have. i have no anger in my heart nor mind for Him. i do not read the Bible, though i know i should. i just step outside and know Him.
i think i went on a bit, but i needed you to know. i know of struggle, i know of pain. But importantly i know Him.

You may contact me, if you would like. i am here for you if you need someone. You will be great, you will see. Take a walk and tell Him. He is there always my dear. He loves you very much. You will be great.


#12

:shrug: I guess you could also cover those that are to busy to check grammer in with those that need sacrifices.:smiley:


#13

I think you need to check with a doctor to make sure you’re not suffering from depression. Men around your age are prone to bipolar disorder, which would mean that the way you are feeling is not because of some fault in your faith or thinking.

But assuming that it’s your life, not your hormones, that’s the problem, I think you need to take a deep breath and take a weekend off. Think about your goals and hopes and dreams, and pray for guidance. You sound like you’ve been taking steps in the right direction, and you just haven’t come far enough to be satisfied with yourself yet. You have SO MUCH TIME ahead of you.

Most people are dissatisfied with their lives at 19. Don’t worry too much about what other people are doing, and the success others are enjoying. Hardship and suffering help you grow into the kind of person you want to be. Focus on your own successes, not the successes of others. But don’t become self-centered. Maybe you need to spend some time helping less fortunate people, to remind yourself of the gifts in your life. Feed the poor, talk to the lonely, take a day to visit an old folks’ home. Just don’t spend time at home dwelling about how bad your life is.

For me, when I start to wind myself up into a frenzy of worry, I take a time out. I e-mail an older friend, or call a friend who is far removed from me, and rant for a few minutes. Then, when it’s over, they usually reassure me that my worries are perfectly normal, but that I need to relax. Then I do something to specifically counter the worry that bothers me most. For example, when I’m worried that I won’t have enough money to last the month, I give five dollars to a beggar. When I worry that I don’t have enough time to finish all my assignments, I take a long walk for an hour. Doing those things reminds me that it’s not all about me, and that faith will see me through. I know, deep down, that I’m not going to starve to death, or die a lonely old maid. I just need to stop wanting God to work on MY schedule.

And don’t call your rant “dumb”. It was probably exactly what you needed to do. Good job.


#14

Guys…and girls,

Thanks for the encouraging posts, they really do help when someone has their thoughts clouded in emotions and can’t think too well. Chyna, see what I mean, you don’t even have to read the Bible but you are so secure, it’s a good thing. God has given you an awesome grace, well he has all of us, it just takes some like me a little longer to realize.

Thanks once again people, for taking out time and responding to this thread.

God Bless All. :cool:


#15

Thank you, whoever you are for posting this, never realized or thought of it this way. :cool:


#16

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way–but sometimes, it takes us to hit a rock bottom feeling almost, to grow closer to Christ. In my darkest times of life, I had really clung the hardest to Christ. Now, I realize I need to cling to Him through bad AND good times…but, that took some time to figure it all out.

I will say this also to you–negative thinking can sometimes be a tool of the devil…he likes us to feel despondent and weak. A good prayer to pray when you feel very weak and nearly hopeless, is the Chaplet…it really is very uplifting to the spirit, and can take the most despondent of us all, and raise us up.

But, negative thinking can lead to negative actions. I have a coworker now who is not religious, but she tells me of her positive affirmations…and she said that she meditates, and this helps her to ‘live out’ more positive behavior. Try thinking just a bit more positive, and you may see some positive changes.

Hang in there…I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.:slight_smile:


#17

I was very anxious about the future when I was your age. Things have worked out okay.

Is it possible some of your anxiety is caused by seeing classmates of your age appearing to have a great time? I thought that and it led me to some terrible choices. They are not really having a happy life, they are trying to avoid the challenges of life. They put on a happy face to avoid showing their own fear of the future. You are quite a courageous young man for showing your true self and asking for help.

The only dumb question is the one you don’t ask. There is a lot of help in the world if you look carefully. (Some that claim to help only help themselves, or can’t really help.)

I thought I found on this site a list of Catholic Counselors/ Psychologists. I can’t find it but then I’m lucky I can turn a computer on. If you can’t find it I’m sure someone will help you on these boards.

A man was on the roof of his house as a flood was rising. He asked God to save him, and God said he would. As the water rose a rowboat came by and then later a helicopter. He refused their help saying God will save me. After drowning he stood before the throne of God and asked Him, " God, You promised to save me, and then you let me drown. God asked him, " Who do you think sent the rowboat and the helicopter? " Father Martin

Help is out there, don’t suffer in silence while satan uses your doubt to tempt you to go the wrong way. Going the wrong way always starts with subtle things, the stuff " everyone else does".

Be tough, be strong and have faith. Recite the prayer to the Archangel Micheal. He will help you.

Don’t quit Dan


#18

Hey, I get like this sometimes. Have you ever thought maybe it’s just a sign that you need a break?

There have been days where I am super critical of myself. Suddenly everything in my life is not good enough, in fact, it is quite depressing! My grades seem to suck, my car is junk, my body is out of shape, my work is stressful, etc etc.

Whenever I get like that, I make sure to schedule a time of bliss. I will take a walk in the park, or take my little siblings to the zoo. Even a relaxing bath can be enough. Or I’ll indulge in a sweet.

A good run on the track, a delicious meal at a new place, a visit to a pretty church, even something as trivial (and free) as window shopping, can brighten your mood. Suddenly things will look great and you will feel better.

When you get these feelings and thoughts, see if it is just your body complaining for a little fun.

Make sure you are getting plenty of vegetables and sleep!


#19

I know it is easy for me to opine, as your troubles are not my own.
There are things you can do to improve some of these situations. Work harder to get better grades. Start working out. Try to take your job less seriously or personally, if that is possible in your line of work. Or get a less stressful job. You probably can’t do anything about your car right now, but that is where you are today. Relieving or decreasing the negative effects of any of these situations will probably make the others less stressful.

I also noticed your upcoming nuptials. Congratulations. May you be blessed with a happy and fulfilling future in service to God and your fellow man. If I remember well, an impending marriage can be quite stressful. Like I said it’s easy to opine when I’m not in your shoes.

Good Luck. Dan


#20

Those are all good suggestions and make a lot of sense. What I was trying to point out, however, is that feelings can cloud our sense reality, making things seem worse then they are. As it stands in reality, I have above average grades, a healthy body considering some past issues and a good paying job. My car is still junk no matter what mood I am in. :smiley:

But all it takes is a grumpy day to change that perspective, see?
I was trying to show the OP that sometimes it is just a bad day that makes everything look horrible.

The thing is, it’s a despairing circle, so if one doesn’t recognize it and take refreshing steps to change it, then a full-blown bout of depression could occur, or the person could make bad choices (such as quitting school or finding a gf who isn’t chaste).


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