What do you think?



I wanted to get some catholic opinions on my situation. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine invited me to her birthday party at a local bar. I said that I would be there before realizing that it is on Good Friday. I know she will be very upset with me if I don’t go; However, I don’t feel right about “partying” on Good Friday. I plan on going for a little while to say hello then come home. ( I won’t break the fast by eating or drinking) but I still feel guilty about it. Would you go, or not go?


What you are planning to do is fine. Hopefully this is a good enough friend to understand why you are going about it this way.

I can also see where it would be best to stay at home and not even venture out. Again, if this is what you choose would she be understanding?

If she wants a “make up” party then offer to go out another night with her.


Can you not just tell her that you just realized it will be Good Friday which is a solemn day for you. Will she not understand. Tell her you can make it up to her and go out with her next week or something like that. Just be honest. I don’t think it is that big of a deal if she understands or even just respects your faith without understanding it. I am not traveling to see my family for Easter for the reason that I do not watn to be traveling on Friday and then get there and be socializing as the family will be all excited that day when we get in. And we don’t want to drive up on Saturday and then back on Sunday so we are just staying home. My family has not asked but if they did, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell them althought they are Catholic but not very practicing, kwim.


I think I would go – bring a nice little gift in a cute gift bag – and say, “I’m so sorry I can’t stay. I didn’t realize your party conflicted with Good Friday. I have to attend mass.” That should show her that you care for her and her birthday but that your faith is important, too. Maybe offer to take her to lunch or dinner or a movie or something next week and y’all can do a party for just the two of you :slight_smile:

It’s hard having secular life interfere with religious/spiritual life, isn’t it:)


You can’t go to Mass on Godd Friday- there aren’t any that day.

You can take her the gift in the cute little bag to the bar and mention that it is Good Friday, which slipped your mind, happy birthday, so sorry, can’t stay.


I knew that. I guess I just had a brain moment:D


I think you’ve come up with a good compromise. The ideal would be for you not to go at all, but given the situation, it is understandable to show your friend that you care about her. Your minimal participation could actually be more of a witness to the solemnity of the day than if you were out of sight and out of mind. I’m assuming this is an evening party, not early afternoon (between my deal-breaker hours of 12 and 3).


Great compromise! Go out and give her your friendship… but without breaking your fast…


Thanks for the replies! I decided to not go. I sent her an email saying that I could not attend, but she has only to name the day next week and I will take her out for a drink. I really didn’t explain why, but if she asks I will. (After reading the posts about how this is a good witnessing opportunity, I regret not saying why I couldn’t go in the first place) She is catholic and I’m afraid she will take it as a “holier -than -thou” snub at her.


Yeah, that is a little tricky. I think you can pull it off, but if done wrong it can smell a little 'Holier-than-thou"!


That’s true, people do interpret religious observance as being holier than thou. If makes it difficult to evangelize. I often feel like I need to tiptoe around my faith because people are so threatened by religious people.


:hmmm: so funny how following the teachings of the Church make your “holier-than-thou” (in general, that is)

Good for you.


The only thing I have to add, is what our priest tells us over and over during lent. I know this is a given to many of us, although it is always worth repeating.

Don’t mope around because you are fasting. Comb your hair, brush your teeth, put on your best smile and don’t show others that you may be struggling through your fast.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.