faithfully, your mother ROCKS and your dad too! If it weren't immoral I would ask to have them cloned.
Honestly, your mother is what I consider to be perfect in this area and her example is the way I am trying to do it with my kids. My husband is more open than your dad, but he is currently deployed, so I'm on my own for about a year. :o
Now, let me give you the bad side of being open and willing to talk. And I am sad to say there is one....
My dad was an atheist when I was growing up. He started having sex at 17 with condoms surreptitiously provided by his own father. He had many sexual experiences up until he met my mother and got her pregnant. While they were married, my mom says he was faithful to her and I believe he was. I have to give him credit for that. However, once they divorced, he went on quite a spree. During this time, my mother completely screwed up her life financially and had to surrender custody of myself and my brother to our dad, because she could not afford to take care of us anymore. We came home (my dad had kept the house) in the middle of the spree. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to be a 12 year old girl listening to your father making some strange woman scream in the next room? And knowing you'll likely never see that particular one again? Or how about running into said disheveled stranger the next morning rummaging in your fridge? You know she just had sex with your dad, probably on the day she met him, but you don't know her name and you can't get breakfast until she's out of your way. Thankfully, he seemed to realize that that was harming us, and settled down to a string of fairly monogamous girlfriends, but a lot of them and always openly sleeping with them, both at our house and theirs. When my dad talked to me about sex, this attitude was what he communicated. At least he was honest. He asked me about this same age, 12 or 13, what I thought about premarital sex. I said that it was people's business if they wanted to do that. He said, no, I mean for you. I said that I thought I wanted to wait until I got married. He turned to me and said, "WHY would you want to wait that long?" Even after everything else, I was pretty shocked by that. I knew other girls' dads did not say things like that to them.
My mother is a stubbornly lapsed Catholic who is extremely dissatisfied with her upbringing. Her mother gave her a book written by a priest about sex and never said a word. When my mom got her period, she thought she was dying. Overall, I agree with her that it was a cruel and unacceptable way for a mother to treat her daughter. BUT my mom was so determined to be different that she became completely intrusive and annoying. She came back into my life after I returned to my dad's custody, after about a year and a half of no communication. She hounded me for any news about my period, which I did not get until 15 1/2. So I had a few years of her constantly telling to me to carry supplies just incase, asking if it had happened yet, and going on about her own mother. When she talked to me about sex, she seemed uncomfortable yet committed to making sure I had no hangups, and that included morally. She thought I should be "in love" but if I wanted to have sex then I should. Birth control was expected. She also talked to me about the few boyfriends she had, and went so far as to tell me that she hadn't had any good sex since she left my father.
Funny thing about all this "openness" and "freedom:" I was disgusted. Especially by my father. I remember talking to my best friend about what was going on at this time, and saying to her, "I am never going to be some man's plaything." I knew what I wanted in life, and it was love and respect and commitment, not knowing I'll never be back and that the guy I just had sex with doesn't care about me, nor I about him. I saw all that for what it was, people acting like animals, using each other, and risking horrible diseases. It so diminished my father in my eyes. With my mom, I saw her as kind of pathetic and trying to repair her own damage, not to help me.
However, I must say one thing in favor of my parents' approach. I grew up knowing what sex was, how it worked, and that you could get pregnant or catch diseases, even the first time. There really was no mystery. But also, as gross as my dad's life was, I did get something from him that I cherish, and that is a healthy and fun attitude toward sex. I always expected to enjoy it and had no trouble communicating to my then boyfriend, now husband, how to help me enjoy it. I credit my dad for the fact that I have an open, honest, and mutually fulfilling relationship with my husband, because he taught me that sex is something to be enjoyed without shame. I just differ with him on the proper venue.
In the end, I have only ever had sex with one man. And I never want to experience any other. The way my parents raised me could not have been predicted to end that way! What I wish I had been taught, but what my parents could not teach me, was the power of sex. How it involves the soul and the heart, not just the body. My husband learned this lesson the hard way, because his parents refused to talk to him. They left him to figure things out on his own, with his first girlfriend at 15. He had sex with her twice, then broke up with her because he knew it was wrong. He knew he didn't love her, and he knew he never wanted to get her pregnant. She reacted with rage and hit him in the face with a handful of keys... he still has the scar and always will. He spent the next 2 years in a black depression, hating himself for using her and betraying his own values. His notebooks from that time are truly scary. That is the lesson our kids need, and it gets harder and harder to teach every day in this culture.