I’ve had three spiritual directors; one unofficial and 2 official.
The first was a permanent deacon at my parish and I liked his homilies and the kinds of discussions he led in the youth and young adults groups. I had started going to a new parish and joined a charismatic prayer group and went thought what I called a “spiritual growth spurt” and felt as gawky as an adolescent who doesn’t know what to do with the longer legs and arms and feelings he or she is having. None of my friends or others in the YA group ever talked about this kind of thing so I just asked to speak with him about some things a couple of times.
The others were priests and it was a similar thing; I liked their (orthodox) homilies, the reverence during Mass, how they did Confessions, etc. After awhile I asked the priest if he did spiritual direction and then asked if they would be my spiritual director.
As far as meeting with them? I would usually discuss virtues I was trying to work on and what ever struggles I was having with that, I would share something I read that inspired or convicted me, and also areas of sins that I was trying to overcome. Because they were priests I could finish with confession. If they had not been priests I might have talked about my last confession if thought it would be useful.