I always complain that I hate feelings because I really do. As much as I’m happy for someone, there is a little inkling of envy there. Why? There are times I’m completely happy for someone else. It happens. Why do humans have so many negative feelings? There were times I felt jealous when someone who wasn’t my boyfriend, just I guy I really liked, asked out someone else. Is that entitlement? Why can’t I be normal and nonchalant about things that don’t go my way? Or I find myself taking jokes the wrong way or getting angry over little things. I pray BUT WHY CAN’T I BE PERFECT? Maybe I’ll upgrade to the rosary. Why do we have these nasty insecurities? I know we aren’t supposed to be vain. Every now then and I’ll discover something on my body I don’t like. Maybe a pimple or I gained weight unexpectedly. I know our bodies are temporary. Why can’t I be perfect? If I’d stop posting here if I wasn’t so frustrated with myself ALL THE TIME.
The first passage that came to my mind was 2 Corinthians 10:4-6, in which Paul says “For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.”
The context is that Paul is talking about spiritual warfare. We ought to imitate Paul in the way that he took every thought captive to Christ. When you have thoughts that involve jealousy, examine them in light of God’s revelation. Ask yourself: “does what I’m doing glorify God?”, or “does this thought come from the flesh or from the Spirit?”. Make sure to pray about it if you don’t know.
God has already blessed you with a beautiful body, working organs, blood flowing through your veins, etc. There’s no good reason to feel insecure about your body when you know that your body came from a perfect Creator. God will give you everything that’s good for you, at the appropriate time. One of the reasons you may be angry all the time is that you’re dealing with a little bit of unbelief. It’s like you don’t want God’s way, you want your way. If you would repent of that pride, you will find that God will relieve you of your jealousy and anger.
“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble”, James 4:6 says. I hope you consider what I’ve said.
Conversion: Your way
Loving God, if You wish, You can cure and convert me instantly. All goodness comes from You, so any ‘merit’ of my life is already part of Your holiness. Therefore, so that no moment of my life is wasted in sin or emptiness, please transform me with Your holiness now, as a channel of grace to others and a delight to Yourself!
That You do not hasten to grant this prayer reminds me that You are God who creates in gradual progression, moulding Your masterpieces, no one like any other. You hold each creature in profound love that touches and moves each instant of life!
Help me to accept the quiet evolution of my life to wholeness as You seek my cooperation, while respecting my free will. Your wisdom neither transforms souls on demand nor coerces the unwilling person. Like the greatest silversmith, Your love delicately forms each tiny second and each unique shape of holiness and wholeness in our lives. That is Your glory in us, to form us in our prayerful obedience to the fire of love and the sharp tools of effort and tribulation.
God please grant me patient faith to accept Your fashioning. Yet, if anyone can persuade You to purify and sanctify all in my life from this instant, please let it be so! If not, then grant me to continue to live in quiet faith and faithfulness, loving You above all, and loving others with both prayerful, and practical love.
This is everyday life but it gradually gets easier. It’s normal to want to be perfect. We were made to be perfect, after all, but that won’t completely happen until Heaven.
Our troubles and our sin decreases as we depend less on our own strength and all of our inadequacies and more on God.
^This is one of my favorite short writings of all time. It was written by a Jesuit priest who went through the violence & persecution of the French Revolution. I strongly recommend reading and rereading it
Thank You & God Bless
I mean no disrespect but this might be the case for a woman who is living alone on an island, but in the real world it’s unrealistic because women are often valued according to their beauty and even their worth is gaged off their external appearance.
If men started asking for a girlfriend/wife who has “good working organs” instead of expecting one who is physically beautiful then a lot of women’s insecurities would vanish instantly but this is never going to happen for 90% of men.
A great majority of men -including Catholic ones-seem to “idolise” physical beauty in women.
Also,if society stopped idolising women due to their looks (eg:Victoria’s secret models,beauty pageants etc) then this would also help women to feel less insecure but unfortunately this will never happen either.
There are so many external pressure on women relating to looks.
Lay your imperfections at the foot of the cross. This is best done at adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. God knows what you are made of, He understands your weakness and His grace is available for the asking. He does not want you to place an impossible standard on yourself, as He does not. He desires only that you struggle against your sins, not that you absolutely triumph over them.
I am wondering if you have unwanted thoughts that you do not consent to? Some of what you describe could be that.
The fact that a thought floats through your mind does not mean you have really had it unless you grab on to it.
So your friend gets a promotion and you are happy for her, but the thought floats by, “why her and not me?” If you reject the thought, then it was like a temptation. If you grab it and hold on to it, then you have fallen into temptation.
We can be buffeted by these thoughts and not sin at all, as long as we reject them as soon as we realize they are there.
The best thing to do with any unwanted thought is to say a little prayer. When attacked, either in frequency or intensity, I pray to St Michael, God, and our Mother Mary for help.
I guess its “normal” for women to be very concerned with their appearance. I’m not sure why. Some say it’s biological.
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