What does it mean to be judgmental?


#1

That is a word that is thrown around. What does it mean exactly?
Is insecurity a sin or excusable?
I wonder how many conflicts are caused by human insecurity.


#2

The sinful sort of judgement is the opposite of insecurity, it is so much pride that one thinks that they can decree that some person is in hell.

Not even the Church, with the power to bind and loose, will proclaim any person in hell.


#3

I believe it is hypocritical judging some, warning of the speck but ignoring the log


#4

Not many people damn others to hell. I’ve very rarely heard someone condemn someone to hell


#5

From the top of my head, to be judgmental is to impute upon a person without knowing what is in his heart really is. We are not supposed to be judgmental because it lacks in charity.

Why do you connect it to insecurity or do you mean it as another subject? I think insecurity is not a sin by in and itself unless if it causes one to sin. It only means a symptom of a deeper cause in oneself. Insecurity can be overcome by having the full knowledge about God, that we are His children and that He loves us. That confidence does overcome lack of certainty about oneself.


#6

Many years ago, the man I was in a relationship with would often tell me “don’t be so judgmental” when I was criticizing someone else’s behavior. I think he meant it as “don’t be so rigid”, or “be a little more understanding/ kinder”.

On the one hand, I don’t know if this was the greatest advice from a Catholic morality standpoint, as many of the behaviors in question were pretty wrong/ bad. As one example, this person’s mother was openly having an affair with a married man that went on for years till he died. (My friend and his mother are both also dead for decades now too so I’m not spreading gossip here.)

On the other hand, he was a kind person and it was a good reminder that behind every awful behavior there is a human person who often has good qualities. It probably helped expand my world view and my empathy to some degree.


#7

If you’re on the National Catholic Reporter (NCR) website comment area, it means anyone who liked JPII or Benedict (or are versed in the CCC) are both “hateful” and “judgemental”.

But if you point out the many cases where these same disserting types are themselves making gross judgments, you get your comment deleted.

That’s the working definition of judgmental at NCR.


#8

In real life, I don’t see it much either, but on CAF people seem to be quite free to decide who’s going to Hell, who’s in Hell, and who should be in Hell. It’s offputting, I must say.


#9

It can be difficult to see and understand that depending on how cruel the behavior is. I feel similarly when people tell me to look at things from my “enemies” perspective. They may have been selfish and/or needlessly cruel, they are still human and people are not perfect.


#10

it’s always good to look at things from the other person’s perspective. However, this does not always mean you will agree with the person or that you can or should approve of the behavior. One can understand and even be compassionate while still disapproving of the behavior.


#11

Feeling compassion is another level. Is that the above and beyond God wants us to love our enemies? Some simply accept people have differing morals and moral failings and shortcomings.


#12

I think of compassion as more like acceptance that they have their own moral failings and way of going about their life, and trying to have some empathy and understanding for them though you don’t approve.

Actually having love for someone, reaching out to them, caring about them, would be the next step.


#13

Does the Lord wants us to do this for our enemies or simply allow them to exist? Feel indifferent to their presence.s


#14

I think the question here is, who is my enemy? I can be judgmental towards dozens of people without considering them “my enemy”. Some of them, I even like as people and maybe do socially friendly things, but I don’t like their behavior.

I consider my “enemy” to be more like someone who does something bad or upsetting to me directly, not just somebody living in a manner I don’t 100% approve of.

We should try to love all people, but in practical terms our focus is a bit limited to those we encounter on a regular basis. I could see someone in the newspaper like a politician and be judgmental about his behavior, like if he groped women or took bribes or something, and maybe I should try to be more compassionate towards him. But in terms of actually trying to “love my neighbor”, the politician isn’t anywhere near me, maybe five states away and I don’t know him, so I’m probably not going to be reaching out trying to love him. The most I could do for him might be to pray for him and not post snarky things on the Internet about him. On the other hand, when the person in question is my next-door neighbor who is being hard to get along with, then there are a lot more opportunities for “loving my enemy” because I actually know the person, have interactions with them etc.


#15

Screwtape letters actually talked about this! Lewis used it to point out that one error in trying to “love your enemies” is focusing on big bad out there enemies - enemies where there is little more either way than how we happen to feel about them. That Satan’s tactic is to try to push all our love and forgiveness out there to the people we’ll never actually meet, while allowing our petty hatred and jealousy to flourish with those closest to us.


#16

Lol, why would anyone bother wasting time reading the Fishwrap?

The only thing Fishwrap is good for is using it to start a fire. Or maybe lining the cage of a small animal. Or using it to actually wrap fish. Or in an emergency using it as toilet paper.

I’d sooner see people reading Playboy rather than Fishwrap. At least with Playboy, you know where they stand. Fishwrap is a combination of propaganda, psy-op, and deception, dressed in sheeps clothing.


#17

I don’t see or agree how it is judgmental to disapprove of people doing things like sexual harrassment, rape, violence.


#18

We have to balance judgement with mercy, and mercy with judgement.

To call someone out on sins without compassion and mercy is no better then ignoring sin.

Discernment or judgement is not a negative thing. It can become negative if not balanced as above.


#19

Some act like it is worse or better. It is better to be given a harsh truth or a sweet lie. The person who loves you will always tell you the truth.


#20

We judge actions, not people.


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