[quote="ChosenAndCalled, post:10, topic:195705"]
Being a parent means giving up your own time, needs and even desires at times. It's not easy and is generally without gratitude by anyone - certainly not the children. It's exhausting and it can feel like it will never end. When one is a parent, one is required to put self aside for long periods of time and devote one's self to the needs and even whims of another person.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but your complaint does not make me feel you are a bad mother, just that you resent the demands that the life-style puts on you. We know it's tough - most of us have been in the same boat.
You're in the season of life when your own needs may go unmet and you may be too exhausted to do anything but get through another day. That's what comes of being a parent. If you're tempted to escape these damands to return to something that feels easier, I urge you to reconsider and to re-commit yourself to the need to die to self for the sake of others.
If the financial gains are necessary, however, that's a different story. If you must take a job to feed your children and give them a roof over their heads, that is also a form of serventhood. When a job becomes a means of escaping from the demands of parenthood - for either the father or the mother - then the job is simply an idol that is being worshipped.
You don't sound harsh at all. :)
I don't know that I could explain all the myriad ways in which my parenting skills are simply not where they should be. they are not improving with time.
If I felt that my presence with them was indeed the best for them, this would be a non-issue. I would keep the part-time position for as long as was feasible.
But I don't feel that my presence with them is in fact what's best for them. Not even close. I think they do much better with other people. So, if I'm not serving my own needs, or my children's needs, or my husband's needs (he would rather I return to work FT. He doesn't earn much, so my return to a FT salary would certainly take alot of stress off of him. Actually, he would prefer that I stay home full time with the kids AND get paid 80K a year, but I'm like 'uh, okay, that's not actually an option that's on the table, so...')
Does that make more sense? If someone else were doing the bulk of the childcare, I really think the kids thrive more in that environment than with me.
Does that make sense?
There are some other factors, too.
We NEED my part-time salary. My PT salary is more than my husband's FT salary (he's a graduate student). We don't NEED my full-time salary. That being said, I don't know how long this part-time position will still be around, and so jumping ship to a FT position might be what I would have to do regardless. I would rather leave for a position that I CHOSE, rather than one I was stuck with because I didn't see the writing on the wall.
The other factor is, we would really like some more money. We don't live in what would be considered a 'nice' neighborhood. Is it unsafe? Uh, it's Detroit. And not the nice parts where the City Council people live. My return to FT work would get us OUT of the city and I can tell you right now my chldren will NEVER EVER EVER go to Detroit Public Schools so we definitley need to move before school starts, but that's not for another four years, really. But then again, I don't feel that our particular neighborhood is that unsafe. We've lived there since 2001. I like the neighbors. But it's like we live in this little coccoon in the middle of armageddon and I fear that one day someone will be like 'hey, we haven't robbed THAT street yet!' and then it's game over for us in the D. But, again, I just don't know.
And on top of that, our cars both have 150K of miles on them. i dont' know how much longer they will last, and having some funds available for newer ones would be nice.