I am in my 30s and I have had a troubled relationship with my mother since my late teen years. My father and I had a great relationship once I got over my typical ‘teenageness’ if you catch my drift. My father has since passed on and my relationship with my mother has not gotten any better. Perhaps not worse but not better.
Just a few examples of our problems. She oversteps her bounds with my children and when I try to talk to her rationally and kindly she just storms off and pouts then the next time I see her we are supposed to pretend it never happened. We never have a conversation about what bothers us, she just wants to pretend it didn’t happen. I don’t work that way. I’m not saying we have to hash out every little bump in the road but she refuses to discuss anything.
She has also sent me letters just letting me have it, telling me I’m not considerate and I’m rude and selfish…and I often have no idea what I have done. One time she sent me one these letters and I was just weeks from giving birth…you can imagine my emotional state at that time. I call her to try to discuss and she says ‘oh, that, well I feel better now.’ What about me??? I want to say how I feel but it’s like I’m not allowed.
I have not cut her out of my life, though it’s tempting. My husband is very supportive of me. He does not pressure me in any way though he gets very upset when I’m upset about this. We still visit with her and let her see the children. But it’s not a mother/daughter relationship, we are more like acquaintances with the polite chit chat.
Now, here’s my question. Am I angering God by not following the 4th commandment when I have to deal with this?? I think I have tried. I have tried to talk, I have prayed, I have been too patient. I just don’t wish to upset God over her.