What if you can't find Godparents for your child?


#1

We are in a heck of a dilemma…we are very close to getting placed with a newborn through adoption. We are completely sick about the fact that we have nobody to be Godparents. Nobody…

My brother was DD"s godparent 8 years ago, but he is no longer a practicing Catholic. Isn’t registered at a parish OR attending one. My parents are not practicing Catholics. I have no other immediate family. DH was raised Methodist and his siblings/cousins/ nieces, etc are all methodist. Our family members that we are closest with are Lutheran. We have ZERO Catholic friends.

I have several cousins who are Catholic, but here’s the issue: we are going to be likely adopting a mixed race baby, and most of my family, sadly, are somewhat biggots. i feel like it would be hypocritical to ask them to be a godparent. \

So…what to do? Any suggestions???


#2

Talk to your priest and ask him to recommend suitable godparents.


#3

[quote="twk001, post:1, topic:243055"]
We are in a heck of a dilemma...we are very close to getting placed with a newborn through adoption. We are completely sick about the fact that we have nobody to be Godparents. Nobody...

My brother was DD"s godparent 8 years ago, but he is no longer a practicing Catholic. Isn't registered at a parish OR attending one. My parents are not practicing Catholics. I have no other immediate family. DH was raised Methodist and his siblings/cousins/ nieces, etc are all methodist. Our family members that we are closest with are Lutheran. *We have ZERO Catholic friends.
*

I have several cousins who are Catholic, but here's the issue: we are going to be likely adopting a mixed race baby, and most of my family, sadly, are somewhat biggots. i feel like it would be hypocritical to ask them to be a godparent. \

So...what to do? Any suggestions???

[/quote]

You don't know anyone at your parish that would be a good Godparent? You know you only need one, right?

It doesn't have to be a "friend." Simply a practicing Catholic.


#4

[quote="wanner47, post:2, topic:243055"]
Talk to your priest and ask him to recommend suitable godparents.

[/quote]

Yes! Maybe there are other adoptive parents within your parish who would be an ideal fit... and you could form a bond for years to come!


#5

Oh, and I forgot to add – congratulations on your adoption. :slight_smile:


#6

I chose to ask people (to be Godparents to my kids) from my past who I felt were obviously Catholic, but good role models too. People we might not see very often (don't live nearby at all), and I explained to them that I didn't expect gifts for the Godchild on a regular basis, etc, but I'm asking them to be Godparents because I think they are good people. Do you have anyone from college/high school who you feel are good honorable people, but perhaps you don't keep i touch with them on a regular basis? Most likely if you do, they would be honored if you asked them. It's also a good way to keep in touch with people from your past.


#7

If your husband was raised Methodist, I assume he is a convert? How about his sponsor from RCIA?

You only need one Godparent, by the way, though two is traditional.


#8

[quote="twk001, post:1, topic:243055"]
We are in a heck of a dilemma...we are very close to getting placed with a newborn through adoption. We are completely sick about the fact that we have nobody to be Godparents. Nobody...

My brother was DD"s godparent 8 years ago, but he is no longer a practicing Catholic. Isn't registered at a parish OR attending one. My parents are not practicing Catholics. I have no other immediate family. DH was raised Methodist and his siblings/cousins/ nieces, etc are all methodist. Our family members that we are closest with are Lutheran. We have ZERO Catholic friends.

I have several cousins who are Catholic, but here's the issue: we are going to be likely adopting a mixed race baby, and most of my family, sadly, are somewhat biggots. i feel like it would be hypocritical to ask them to be a godparent. \

So...what to do? Any suggestions???

[/quote]

Are ALL of your cousins bigots? Are any of them at least happy for your family that you are getting a baby? You might want to ask that person, whoever he or she is, to be a god parent, especially if he or she is pretty devout.

If not, you can ask your baptism coordinator to get you a surrogate godparent until you line someone up.


#9

well, i was DH's RCIA sponsor...so that's out.

we DO have a friend from our past, actually DH's college roommate who is a catholic. He and his wife would actually be PERFECT because they are a mixed race couple!!! totally forgot about them.

We haven't really conversed with them in a while, but stay in touch via social networking. they would be perfect. i just hope they don't think it's wierd of us to ask them because we haven't talked in years. i guess this is a good of topic as any to get us back in touch again!


#10

[quote="twk001, post:9, topic:243055"]
well, i was DH's RCIA sponsor...so that's out.

we DO have a friend from our past, actually DH's college roommate who is a catholic. He and his wife would actually be PERFECT because they are a mixed race couple!!! totally forgot about them.

We haven't really conversed with them in a while, but stay in touch via social networking. they would be perfect. i just hope they don't think it's wierd of us to ask them because we haven't talked in years. i guess this is a good of topic as any to get us back in touch again!

[/quote]

Yay! You thought of someone!! I'll bet they would be honored that you would ask them. And you will probably end up being good friends with them, if they take their responsibilities seriously.

:thumbsup:


#11

[quote="twk001, post:9, topic:243055"]
well, i was DH's RCIA sponsor...so that's out.

we DO have a friend from our past, actually DH's college roommate who is a catholic. He and his wife would actually be PERFECT because they are a mixed race couple!!! totally forgot about them.

We haven't really conversed with them in a while, but stay in touch via social networking. they would be perfect. i just hope they don't think it's wierd of us to ask them because we haven't talked in years. i guess this is a good of topic as any to get us back in touch again!

[/quote]

I faced the same quandry, actually reached out to a college buddy for our 1st child. I made it clear that we didn't have anyone in the parish that we knew or liked well enough, and my siblings are non-religious. There were actually a few other people we considered, but there was just something a little wierd about them (narcissism), and I wanted to have someone that I'd know for years - time tested.

I doubt they will think it's wierd, especially if you explain things to them, and why you're asking them.

I explained to them my situation to the college buddy as above. I think it's also good if our children have a godparent that's known me for 15-20 years, when I was younger.


#12

Simply be open and honest with them about why you are asking…I’m sure they will be delighted. It is lovely to have that bond with a child and I’m sure they would like it.

I have one godson. My nephew. I love him deeply and on occasion he introduces me to his little friends as “my uncle and my Godfather”. He knows that that means he has a special relationship with me he has with no one else and i with him that I have only with him. I feel really proud of this.


#13

yes, this is a great idea. we recently had a family in my community do this and my priest recommend me. I am super excited and realize I have a sacramental and permanent bond with this family.


#14

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.