What if you feel reluctant to do God's will?


#1

Dear All,

What to do if you believe you’re called to the religious life, you found the right community, you love it & cherish it,
You believe you’re called there and it’s coming back again & again but…
…the idea frightens you, you are reluctant to live the austerities… But at the same time, you believe it’d be a way to flourish, to develop your talents and fulfil yourself… But you don’t want the penance, you don’t want to make one more step.

What could you do? keep it silent? What to do when the desire for religious life is gone, but you still know you’re called?
PAX+
Bebekoualy


#2

It's hard to do what CHrist asks of us sometimes. We're scared, we're confused, we're clueless, the cross of the act may be too heavy for us to bare......

Crush yourself for Christ! If you know you are called to go somewhere and do something.....do it!

I remember the story of Peter.....running away from Rome knowing that he was going to be martyered. He see's Christ carrying the cross back to Rome...and say's "Lord, where are you going!" Jesus says " I'm going back to Rome to be crucified again!" .....Peter runs back to Rome and takes up his place in the spiritual "war effort"...if you will. !

Remember what St. Paul said: " I make up the sufferings lacking in Christ"

We are part of His body and we all have a part to play in salvation history....a position only WE can hold! It was made specifically for us.

I suggest to you that you find a spiritual director....because NO move like this should be taken lightly. I think you need to be under advisement. I think it will help clear some things up for yourself and bring your heart peace.

I also suggest making a good confession and DAILY right before you go to bed: say the litany of Divine Mercy : " For your holy will is love and mercy itself!"

Divine Mercy, gushing forth from the bosom of the Father, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, greatest attribute of God, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, incomprehensible mystery, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, fountain gushing forth from the mystery of the Most Blessed Trinity, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, unfathomed by any intellect, human or angelic, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, from which wells forth all life and happiness, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, better than the heavens, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, source of miracles and wonders, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, encompassing the whole universe, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, descending to earth in the Person of the Incarnate Word, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, which flowed out from the open wound of the Heart of Jesus, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, enclosed in the Heart of Jesus for us, and especially for sinners, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, unfathomed in the institution of the Sacred Host, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, in the founding of the Holy Church, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, in the Sacrament of Holy Baptism, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, in our justification through Jesus Christ, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, accompanying us through our whole life, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, embracing us especially at the hour of death, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, endowing us with immortal life, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, accompanying us every moment of our life, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, shielding us from the fire of hell, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, in the conversion of hardened sinners, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, astonishment for Angels, incomprehensible to Saints, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, unfathomed in all the mysteries of God, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, lifting us out of every misery, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, source of our happiness and joy, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, in calling us forth from nothingness to existence, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, embracing all the works of His hands, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, crown of all God?s handiwork, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, in which we are all immersed, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, sweet relief for anguished hearts, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, only hope of despairing souls, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, repose of hearts, peace amidst fear, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, delight and ecstasy of holy souls, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, inspiring hope against all hope, I trust in You

Prayer:
Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.


#3

You speak to the people in charge of helping you discern these things. It might even be a case where you enter the novitiate - which in itself is a period of discernment of just the types of things you mention above.
Call the order…speak to the person who deals with those entering the novitiate. my guess is that you will find that you are quite normal in this regard.

Peace
James


#4

A friend of mine was/is in your spot. She finally committed to doing one or two months with the order. That was a commitment she could make peacefully. So she entered with a open, peaceful mind asking God to let her know one way or another by the end of that period. Maybe a similar commitment is something for you consider.


#5

Hang onto that it natural to feel frightened, very frightened, and I think the Community you are contemplating would worry perhaps if you didn't feel anything at all like fear at some point. :)

But mostly I would, as others have said talk to the right people, your parish priest if you talk to him well and let him in on this. Your Priest will at some point need to give them a reference about you anyway if you follow it through, so it be good for him to know your struggles and tribulations so he can help you overcome them and perhaps know someone who will guide you as you work out what is best for you.

Knock and the door shall be opened unto you. Knocking, for you is asking these questions to people who can help you determine which way. If you don't try these questions will come around again and again. By trying will help you find that peace in mind about the calling.


#6

Well, what you do is standard discernment :D

Like JRKH said above, you inquire and receive spiritual direction. You visit the community and live a few days with them. Perhaps you even enter the novitiate (which usually lasts at least a year, unless I am wrong, and at the end of which, I recall, you can chose whether to take vows or simply leave).

Remember that the Lord did not necessarily want to experience all those sorrows and death - as He showed in the Garden and even before, telling His disciples that He was in great sorrow - and yet He entered willingly into His passion, because it is never our will that must be done, always God's will - and we must be willing to give ourselves up entirely, not in what is pleasant (even sinners do that) but in what is difficult and sorrowful.

May God enligthen you and bring to completion what He started in you :)


#7

Thanks to all of you. I'll be with the community to-day, and I might have a word about it with the one who has been my spiritual director, but whom I avoided to speak to because I was afraid he might force me into this religious community.
I found an old diary I've been writing for about a year: it keeps repeating itself. I am most afraid to be called in this specific order and religious community because I know how demanding it's going to be for me, but I have a pull as well.

I'll try to speak about it this week, and let you know. :shrug: I am most afraid, and am most sure I might not bear rejection from this specific community. (entering novitiate is one thing, but being refused to is another one)


#8

[quote="Bebekoualy, post:1, topic:313696"]
Dear All,

What to do if you believe you're called to the religious life, you found the right community, you love it & cherish it,
You believe you're called there and it's coming back again & again but...
...the idea frightens you, you are reluctant to live the austerities... But at the same time, you believe it'd be a way to flourish, to develop your talents and fulfil yourself... But you don't want the penance, you don't want to make one more step.

What could you do? keep it silent? What to do when the desire for religious life is gone, but you still know you're called?
PAX+
Bebekoualy

[/quote]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us. Here is how I figured things out.

I felt called to the priesthood later in my teens. I started the discerment period and then meet the woman who would later become my wife. I still felt called to ministry for many years, but I pushed it to the back of my mind and went on with "my" life. Now I have started my formation for the permanent diaconate. I tried for many years to not think about my calling, but God always seems to bring me back to it in some way. We should live our lives by God's will rather than our own. By doing so, life becomes much more worth living than before ;)


#9

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