What is man's incentive to marry?


#1

Really, I'm having a hard time wondering why any man would even enter into a marriage anymore- besides 'love'. In the olden days, it was something expected, but these days, even if they do, if divorce happens, they loose quite a lot. Now that women can work and earn just as much as men and since they can do that AND apparently raise decent children by themselves, what is the reason for marriage? What would be the benefits of it for men, especially since there is such a high divorce rate?

I would love to hear the catholic response.. especially from Catholic men.


#2

Marriage is vocation and as such a response to the call of The Lord. As a calling not all people will feel like getting married. This is fine because they are responding their own unique calling from God. If God calls us to be married the church teaches a few things. God loves life and takes joy in creation. Starting a family is the way to share in the mystery of creation. At the center of that mystery is love. The husband love his wife and she loves him. They love their children and of course the love God. It is an abandoment of a life of me, me, me to a life of you, you, you. The wife submits to her husband and he submits to her. They are humble before each other. The reason they humble themselves is again love.

God bless


#3

[quote="AnneElizabeth, post:1, topic:310360"]
Really, I'm having a hard time wondering why any man would even enter into a marriage anymore- besides 'love'. In the olden days, it was something expected, but these days, even if they do, if divorce happens, they loose quite a lot. Now that women can work and earn just as much as men and since they can do that AND apparently raise decent children by themselves, what is the reason for marriage? What would be the benefits of it for men, especially since there is such a high divorce rate?

I would love to hear the catholic response.. especially from Catholic men.

[/quote]

Doing God's will, of course, but also sex and family. For good Catholic men, marriage is the only way to licitly have sex and start a family.

You're right, though, that marriage is deeply disadvantageous for men in modern society, given how many women will abandon their husbands and children on a whim and subject them to divorce-theft bonanzas with the aid of the state. What a mess of things feminism has made. Small wonder so many men prefer porn.


#4

So you are saying the incentive for a man to marry is to do God’s will?

Another question then… with so many men being atheist or agnostic, why would they marry? Wouldn’t we see the number of people getting married drop as more and more men don’t believe in God?


#5

We’re seeing exactly that.

Those who do marry, I suspect, do so mainly out of naivety or out of a desire to nail down a particular woman (a gambit which, for reasons you point, will no longer necessarily succeed).


#6

Love does exist, many marry because they love their wives. Others want the stability of companionship, that a marriage at least implies. Others want a normal household to raise a family. Some, unfortunately, marry for wealth or connections.


#7

True… feminism has made a mess of things. Not only for men, but for women who want to be “old fashioned”. If you are a woman who didn’t get proposed to after schooling, you are basically sucked into a system which requires you not to be who you are. (old fashioned) And on top of that, “old fashioned” to many young men means “boring in bed” or “prudish”. These women are not exciting enough to the males- even if they have the body of a porn star.

It looks as if society is truly going to crash- Men with their porn and and women deciding to use their looks for income equates to women being treated as objects, and I suspect rape and violent crime will increase five fold.


#8

This is a great question!

If you view Marriage as a way of expressing love or getting government benefits - then it would be optional.

But Marriage is an institution/sacrament to protect children by ensuring that they are raised in a stable family with both parents. It is also used to help guard the love a man and a woman share with each other from the outside world as you become 'one flesh'

$.02


#9

What is man’s incentive to marry?

Dad says it counts as purgatory.

Joking aside, yeah, love.

…I don’t have a bloodline to continue, a surname to pass on. (In fact, I wouldn’t even know which one.) There is nothing in particular to inherit, either. Nor am I important enough for it to be some form of alliance, Old Testament or Middle Ages style, other than forming a partnership instead of flying solo if I were to marry a lawyer. I don’t already have children. I don’t need a pair of hands to work a farm or anything along those lines. I’m mostly in for companionship, if not in any sense that would detract weight from the sacrament.


#10

You know if women wouldn’t have sex with men outside of marriage we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.


#11

I agree with this answer whole heartedly. I would like to add, marriage was founded in religion for the purpose of uniting people in love with there children making it a 3 legged stool, not a two legged one. Also with children out of the equation, what is the reason for government to institutionalize an emotion. What would be the purpose? More taxes I guess.


#12

Premarital sex. Giving a woman the power of oxytocins without an oath to give up on her power to just delete you from her phone book. No chance in a lifetime.

Can’t recall ever giving in to that line of thinking, not even in my stupidest years. For the record, porn stars typically have different characteristics from what I found pleasing to the eye, even with adjustment for the vulgar behaviour.


#13

I truly believe what you are saying. My question was not a knock on marriage. I love the concept of marriage God has ordained and respect its beauty greatly. But I really wonder how i this rift is going to ever going heal without men really having a serious concern over what is going on… yet, what incentive would they have to fight for it? The more men who disbelieve in God and don’t follow His Will the worse off it is for everyone just because of the natural order God has put forth.


#14

[quote="nickybr38, post:10, topic:310360"]
You know if women wouldn't have sex with men outside of marriage we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

[/quote]

Yes. Agreed.

But women who wait are now passed up as prudes. They aren't dated ever. They are dumped. One might say "Good for her. You don't need a guy like that" but in the long run, it doesn't help her worth anything.


#15

[quote="twoshoes, post:11, topic:310360"]
I agree with this answer whole heartedly. I would like to add, marriage was founded in religion for the purpose of uniting people in love with there children making it a 3 legged stool, not a two legged one. Also with children out of the equation, what is the reason for government to institutionalize an emotion. What would be the purpose? More taxes I guess.

[/quote]

Wow, great point.


#16

How about dating men who don’t put out?

In the long run, neither putting out and continuing to receive the attention (that only really for a short while anyway, before being swapped in for a new not-even-concubine) nor just simply being dated will help her worth either.


#17

[quote="nickybr38, post:10, topic:310360"]
You know if women wouldn't have sex with men outside of marriage we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

[/quote]

:thumbsup:


#18

[quote="AnneElizabeth, post:14, topic:310360"]
Yes. Agreed.

But women who wait are now passed up as prudes. They aren't dated ever. They are dumped. One might say "Good for her. You don't need a guy like that" but in the long run, it doesn't help her worth anything.

[/quote]

I'm a 30-year old virgin.

I've decided if a guy is going to pass me up because I don't put out... then I'd rather be alone.


#19

[quote="catholicanne, post:17, topic:310360"]

Originally Posted by nickybr38 View Post
You know if women wouldn't have sex with men outside of marriage we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

:thumbsup:

[/quote]


What about men's responsibility --- to keep his pants zipped. It takes two willing partners to have sex -- the man and the woman. Yet -- it seems the men's responsibility for his participation -- "gets overlooked " --- and the finger pointing goes towards the women.


#20

[quote="Walking_Home, post:19, topic:310360"]

What about men's responsibility --- to keep his pants zipped. It takes two willing partners to have sex -- the man and the woman. Yet -- it seems the men's responsibility for his participation -- "gets overlooked " ---the finger pointing always seems to go towards the women.

[/quote]

Because it is often men who are pressuring women to have sex. Just this past week I had a fellow tell me: "I respect your choice to be chaste but honestly us guys have sexual urges and I just couldn't live that life."

The responsibility is placed on women because too many women feel they HAVE to have sex or they will be passed up for another woman who WILL have sex.

But mostly the focus of my comment was on women because I AM a woman and I know far too many females who put out because they think no guy will ever want them if they don't.


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