What is the key to changing?

“If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.”

What is the key to really changing on the inside and growing in love? How can we avoid the trap of just going through the motions, doing good works or whatever we think we’re supposed to do but not having love?


I definitely think it’s a process. But you can ask the Holy Spirit to give you that love. Ask Jesus for the grace and to fully submit to God’s will. In time it will come :slight_smile:


Having a well grounded view of God and ourselves helps. Humility allows us to see how gratuitously God loves all human beings. Gratuitous in that we are flawed creatures, and yet God still pours out love continuously.

Also, for me negative consequences are also a motivator to love better. Life truly is happier as we sacrifice for others and so God’s “chastisement” is productive for me.


Something that helped me was using 2 Cor chapter 13 as my examine of conscious for a year, reading it in every different Bible translation I could get my hands on.


I actually just finished reading an article by Sam Guzman on the topic of change! I’ll link it below, but he says that the greatest was to change is massive action.
I hope you find the article useful :slight_smile:

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I think the key to any change is the desire or the realization that one needs to do so.

Remembering it’s not about you.

Learning to do the right thing, but leave the results up to God.

(Which are both a lot harder than they sound and might be the spiritual work of a lifetime)

Being open to God’s transforming grace.

Religion that doesn’t help transform a person is useless religion

Contemplative Prayer is the path God has led many toward. As the saying goes, “just do it.”

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Archbishop Sheen digs into this question:

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Stop trying so hard just let it happen, if you really want to change it will happen, sit and listen for God don’t push it or timetable it, just be and let the spirit move you,

Make sure you make reading the New Testament a part of your life.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. “ 1 Peter 3: 3-5

Pray; seek God: He’s the only one who can accomplish this in us. From the most quoted New Covenant prophecy from the Old Testament, Jer 31:33:
"I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people."

“Under grace”, in the New Covenant understanding, “Love fulfills the Law”. Rom 13:10

Love is the primary definition of justice for man, that by which God justifies us, making us just or righteous, which is why the Greatest Commandments are what they are incidentally.

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that he exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." Heb 11:6

First is to never stop asking this question. If you are ever certain that you are doing all that you do for the right reason, find a quiet place, ask God, then wait for an answer.

2nd, payer. Pray more often, pray with more intent. The Mass primarily, then other personal, devotional prayers.

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