What is the purpose of lingerie?


Seriously. I’m not being naive. I am asking this question, as a spin off of one of the posters’ threads…relating to racy pics between a husband and wife. I would assume that racy pics wouldn’t be of a person who is wearing jeans and a t-shirt. So, most likely, those pics are of a wife, perhaps, wearing lingerie, posing seductively. (thus the term racy)

But, let’s remove the camera for a moment…what is the point of lingerie? Do you personally buy it/wear it?

For the men–do you buy it for your wives? If so, why?

If we are to live our marriages out in a lust-free way…do you feel that lingerie contributes to or doesn’t contribute to, thinking lustfully about one’s spouse? (namely the way a man views his wife) The way it is marketed to the general public, the message is driven home that a woman should be wearing lingerie for her man, to appear more desireable. (but is that the same as lust?):confused:

So…what is the purpose of lingerie?


Christmas wouldn’t be the same without wrapping paper everywhere, would it? :wink:


I think that it is all right to set the mood for both people. Sometimes I need something to help me get out of mom mode. Going through the process of putting on lingerie, spraying on perfume and lighting candles, really does help me to change my focus.

Of course, my youngest still come knocking on the door when she has a nightmare, so I have to be ready to get out of mom mode immediately-see what you have to look forward to Mirdath?:smiley:


I agree with you, deb. I wonder what a man’s true intent is though, when buying it? Is he thinking lustfully, or is he just wanting her to change her focus.:wink: :smiley:


Like I said on the other post, as long as there is no objectification, ok. It is less of a danger with lingerie. Besides, I know of a lot of women who were it because it helps their image of themselves. Even if no one sees it, they say, it makes them feel beautiful.


The purpose of lingerie is to make you feel fat, and to be itchy.


Well… I buy the lingerie but I ask my hubby’s opinion so I am really not certain which he is thinking of. Maybe a little of both.:stuck_out_tongue: I do sometimes need help in getting out of mommy mode.:o


It is very difficult for a married man to think “lustfully” of his wife. It is good and virtuous for the man to desire his wife strongly. Wanting to give and receive all the sensual pleasures with her is not lustful.


No, that is the purpose of a bathing suit.:blush:


:stuck_out_tongue: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


For many men, I’m sure what you say is true, but I definitely think it’s entirely possible for a man to lust after his wife…and that be the only focus of the marital embrace. His own satisfaction vs viewing the embrace as a sacrificial display of love.




I’ve kind of wondered that myself, considering I have always kind of been into it my who life, and even now that I am single and no one is going to see it, it is still something that I enjoy. I guess because it makes me feel nice and feminine, even if I am just wearing jeans.

When I was married, I know putting some thought into lingerie was also something I did for my husband. I’m not sure if that is something that contributed to the way that he objectified me. I sort of think that was something that was coming from inside of him and would have been that way regardless though.

So, I don’t think that there is one blanket answer to the question.


I agree with many of these posts. You can’t have one answer to this because the answer is different for different people. Anything that is a natural good desire can be turned into something bad or used for something bad and selfish. It is very good and natural to desire you wife, but also wanting to please her at the same time. The lust comes in when a husband wants his wife selfishly for his own fullfillment and disregards hers. There is nothing wrong with enjoying her or looking forward to enjoying her or even adding some spice to get the emotions and mood set for the enjoyment. The lingerie is not bad but yes I believe people can use it for strictly lust. We could also say that about make-up and other things. Some women wear make-up for self esteem to make themselves feel pretty as some do to gain attention from the opposite sex.

I totally agree on a personal level with the lingerie to make myself feel pretty and feminine. I love to wear the matching bottom and top that are lacy and pretty because it makes me feel good about myself, although that does not give the go ahead for my husband all the time. Other than undergarments I do not wear other forms of lingerie strictly for myself. I would not sleep in a lacy nighty just for myself because I’m much more comfy in tshirt or soft pjs. Anything other than undergarments is for the hubby and his view. :thumbsup:


Men are visual. Looking at his wife “dressed up” is stimulating. Very!:slight_smile: It also shows she desires him.


I agree with the poster who said that the purpose of lingerie is supposed to make you feel fat. I so empathize. Before my wedding I went lingerie shopping for the wedding night. I found nothing. Doesn’t help that the lighting in many dressing rooms brings out every flaw I have! I ended up wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt that night…but not for long. :wink: :smiley:


Several years ago I was in an invalid marriage that left me feeling completely without worth and self esteem. I was over weight, and dressed how I felt, like a total frump. After ending that relationship, loosing weight and gaining the self esteem I had lost for over 13 years, I started buying pretty underthings. They made me feel good about myself, it was a nice feeling to know that under my work clothes or jeans I had something pretty on. And now that I’m married for real :slight_smile: I thoroughly enjoy feeling nice and pretty for my husband. I enjoy “dressing up” occasionally in pretty night things (when it’s warmer out!! :eek: ), and seeing his very pleased reaction.

No lust - just love. I don’t see anything wrong with it as long as that’s the focus.



I guess lingerie could be helpful to get the husband ‘in-the-mood’?

As one poster said ‘men are visual’ and we do, after all, need to make a necessary change to our atanomy in order to complete the act.

OK, now I’m really embarrassed:blush:


I buy lingerie to wear for my hubby…there are lots of reasons that I do it–for both myself and for him. For one, it makes me feel beautiful, and it also “sets the mood” for a married couple’s evening. The marital act is supposed to be enjoyable and there’s nothing wrong with candles, soft music, and lacy underthings contributing to it all.

I think it was in the Opus Dei book The Way that there was an exerpt talking about how there would be fewer cases of adultery if women dressed up for their husbands. Now obviously a woman is not responsible for the sin of adultery, but I think a woman should be held accountable for looking nice for her spouse. Marriage involves a very significant physical act which is based on attraction. Lingerie provides an opportunity for both spouses to enjoy each other’s bodies and provided this is not taken to the extreme of seeing your spouse only as an object, can actually help your marriage stay healthy.

Yeah, there are a lot of times when I’m really tired that I’d rather wear frumpy night clothes, but when I actually take the time to dress up for my spouse, it really is a little loving sacrifice on my part. There is nothing lustfull about that. :love:



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