To those of you who know I’m scrupulous…this is not a “Did I sin?” question. This is more like a “What is the right choice?” kind of question. I have some restitution to make, and it’s going to take me quite a while to do it. I promised God that I would use my birthday/Christmas money, money I earn as a poll worker, and I THINK I said, “And any other money I get/earn.” If my elderly MIL gives me a little money for helping her, I use that money for restitution. Okay, so I’ve been helping my MIL get ready for a trip, and I drove her to catch the shuttle bus. She gave me $20 and said, “Get a pizza for you guys tonight”. So we got Subway tonight (not a pizza but still I thought I’d use the money to get something to eat like my MIL had said.). But even while I’m buying the sandwiches, I’m wondering if I should use the money to make restitution. I told the Lord I will do whatever He wants. I can always take $20 from our household money and set it aside for restitution since I spent the $20 my MIL gave me. I’m not panicked and afraid that I’ve sinned…the Lord knows my heart. I simply would like some thoughts on what to do in this case. You see, if something is “cut and dried” like whether I should commit adultery or not or whether I should purposely get drunk or not…well, DUH. But sometimes more complicated things confuse me. And now that I think of it, I probably should have gotten a pizza instead of Subway because I knew our (young adult) son doesn’t like it. So maybe that was selfish of me because I wanted Subway. Just rambling now…but I mostly want to know about the restitution question.
It’s not money you earned. It’s money MIL gave you for the specific purpose of buying dinner, which you did. No, you don’t need to take the money out of household budget to balance it out.
Knowing that you are scrupulous, I’d be more worried that whatever restitution you think is owed is probably not necessary, and perhaps you should discuss this with your confessor rather than trusting your own judgement (which is unreliable, sorry). But I won’t say anything further on that.
Yes, I know my judgement is unreliable–that’s why I ask so many questions–lol. However, yes, the restitution is for REAL sin (from before my reversion experience almost three years ago). Don’t ask me how I could go from having a lax conscience–doing many things that I either knew were wrong or SHOULD have known were wrong (if I hadn’t neglected to learn my faith and if I hadn’t been so blinded by sin)…to being so scrupulous. Perhaps it is because I fear going back to the person I was? My first thought was, “Yes, this money was to buy supper,” but then the doubt/scruples kicked in.