Your question got me to thinking. What DO I expect?
And then, I remember! I remember what my life was like before I knew Him. I was existing - I was having a helluva time but I was just existing. As long as what I did didn’t “hurt” anybody else then it was ok - as long as it “felt” good or right. When the Holy Spirit “flipped on my light switch”, I saw what I had become, how my thinking was skewed and how I was living my life and I was ashamed. I wasn’t a bad person, I was living under a lie - one the devil himself had sown for me! He had convinced me that since I hadn’t murdered someone or anything like that - I was a “good” person and I was Okay - I wasn’t hurting anyone!
My thinking had been the thinking of the day - secular, totally secular - with no thought to how God wanted me to live or how God really meant for something to be. There was no real thought of God at all. Oh, I knew He existed but, I guess cuz I couldn’t see Him He wasn’t really there - ya know?
I KNOW Him, now and I know He knows ME! He has shown Himself to me plenty of times! It’s been an amazing thing to see! I can talk to Him as a friend would talk to another friend - sometimes formal, sometimes not. My Catholic faith brought me back to an understanding (profound, mystical and beautiful) of Him that I somehow missed while growing up. My faith has given me a freedom I never experienced when I was living the “lie”. At the same time, it places a bigger burden on me than before because much is expected of one that has been given much - or something like that. I am compelled to give back to God because He gave so much to me. I want to serve Him and do His Will. I am happier, in this life, for it. It makes trials easier to bear - and boy, let me tell you, my family and I are having our trails - one after the other! I turn to the Blessed Sacrament, I pray the Rosary and contemplate Jesus’ life and His trials - it gives me hope in this life.
I know that whatever I go through on this earth, it’s preparing me for eternity. I hope I will persevere. I use every trial to help make me stronger here on earth so that I may be even the slightest bit worthy of heaven. My thoughts don’t turn to what will happen over the next week or two, I wonder how God sees a particular event and how He would want me to handle it - given all the instructions He’s left us - will I follow them or make up my own rules? I would hope to choose the path he already has marked for me - wherever it leads, it leads straight to Him! Why would I detour? My desire is to live with Him forever because I love Him deeply.