What is the teaching of this in marriage?

I’m asking this as a simple hypothetical scenario so:

What would happen if a husband were to be a practicing Catholic living life in accordance with canon law and Wife a Cafeteria Catholic so to speak and the wife uses contraception (e.g the Pill) or vice versa (man uses contraception such as Condoms). Would the Catholic who is fully practicing and not using contraception committing a sin if the pair have martial relation but their spouse is using contraception?

Thank you and God Bless!

IDK official on this but I have an opinion (like everyone) lol. Condoms are a little tougher, as you have to actually stop to apply. And anyway I have not met many women who even like the condoms…

Anyway with the pill, I would say that it is a bit more prone to failure and with diligent efforts to “convert” the wife, in prayer and living by example etc… I would say that not having maritals would better lead to a cafeteria catholic divorcing you :frowning: in this case I think you could apply the occasional addressing of the issue and such.

As to condoms, it would be a strong willed man who could resist the “in the moment” pleas of the wife for the real thing… I think she could overcome it more often than not lol.

I think it would depend if he/she knew about the others use of contraception, for example if the Husband had no idea she was using the pill then no it wouldn’t be a sin, but if he did know about her using the pill then it would. Simply as he is doing his part with the full knowledge that his actions will bring about the death/prevention of the life of a human.
If he didn’t know then it wouldn’t be a sin as for a mortal sin you require 3 things, one of which is full knowledge of wrong, I would argue that if he dint know it was wrong as he wast aware of her use then it wouldn’t be a sin.

In most cases, no.

See the document Vademecum for Confessors.

This^^. The priest counseling his penitent can speak to this, we do’t need to speculate.

Like sparring partners? :smiley: Isn’t it funny how marital and martial get mixed up? Is there a deeper truth in that?

My exwife liked to engage in martial relations lol seems good maritals often come with the crazy of martials lmao

I know a situation like this (devout husband, cafeteria wife) but the wife insists on condom usage. Husband isn’t in to it, but if he strictly observes this teaching and declines relations because of it, the wife becomes 1.) hurt and 2.) spiteful towards the church, it’s “ridiculous” teachings, and the damage it does to their marriage.

He gives in sometimes, to keep the marriage peaceful – but more so to continue to try and coax the wife back into the faith and not drive her further away with hard teachings just yet. Of course it’s not the best way, but I pray that the sin is at least not moral in such a circumstance.

My, um, friend consulted more than one priest on this, and while they are good priests, they gave kind of wishy-washy answers. It’s a tough situation to be in.

This is not correct according to Vademecum for Confessors.

This is clear in Vademecum, it is not permitted to actively contracept. If the wife is insistent and SHE contracepts, that is fine. It is not fine for your friend to do so.

I certainly understand why he might “give in” due to pressure. But the advice from the priest should have been more clear and using the Vademecum as guideline.

Would you be able to link the document please? It would help a lot :slight_smile:

God Bless!

Moral theology does not exist to condemn, but to teach us the ethics of love.

On my phone, so no. Just google Vadenecum for Confessors and it pops right up

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.