Hello! So I am a 17 year old girl who is fairly new (2 years) to the Catholic faith and I recently had an experience that I would like to talk about, so here it goes lol
So I am in community college and yesterday I was in my Science class when I sat next to one of my friends (a girl I’ve only known for really only a month) and we started to do a small lab project together. Well, at one point, she accidentally brushed my arm and I felt something, like an attraction or a spark so they say. I got butterflies in my stomach like i would normally if a guy did the same thing. I’m very confused. What was this feeling? The thing is, I’ve liked guys my whole life and I’ve never had an experience like this before with any girl! I don’t want to change, i like the way I am. Ever since yesterday I can’t stop thinking about if I’m like now attracted to girls. I haven’t felt the same since yesterday.
What is happening?!?! What does this mean?!?! I need help! I don’t know where else to turn!
P.S. I have serious anxiety and hormonal problems. I’m also very hard on myself. Could any of these things effect (affect?) whats happening??
Don’t be hard on yourself. Hormones are weird sometimes, and people have momentary weird thoughts and feeling about a lot of things. It could also be nothing.
You said that you’ve liked guys your whole life and that guys give you butterflies as well. So from a faith standpoint, even if you suddenly did realize that you are also attracted to women, as long as you don’t act on it, you’ll be right with God in this. So stick with guys.
Remember that feelings are fleeting, although strong, but thoughts are more important. You can get butterflies petting a puppy or sitting in a new car. Attractions are all around; investing in them or interpreting them sexually is making problems for yourself.
And remember, we live in a secular world now where we are told that everything is to be “explored”. Some things, some feelings are a waste of time to explore and can lead your life away from God.
Good to recognize the feelings, but don’t obsess on them. They are natural. But natural things must be put in perspective, too.
And you are right about anxiety: it can really play with your head. surround yourself with good books, good art, and good counsel.
As the bottom of your quote says you have anxiety and hormonal issues. Teens are timebombs ready to blow up over anything. Moody. My children and grandchild wear me and wore me out; If you have enjoyed boys before, feel settled there. You were probably tired and out of sorts that day. I have had butterflies w other men after I was married and it didn’t mean I was in love w them. I kept out of their way and stayed about my business till the butterflies flew away. Confusing things happen. Hold onto what you know. We are not animals in heat that jump the first thing that goes by when we feel romantic. That is why we marry and take vows. It was surprising to feel those feelings when I only felt them for my spouse. But I chucked them up to natural hormones misplaced and the devil trying to mess w me. So, I held true to my faith and vows and went home after work and kissed my prince. Hope this helps.
Oh my Jesus forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, lead all souls to Jesus, especially those most need of your mercy.
in Christs love,
Appetites are “moved” by objects we encounter outside ourselves - we see a piece of cake and begin imagining eating it. That is the “animal” side of us.
But as “human animals” we have reason, thinking, and “moving” ourselves based on decisions we make. My dog does not think about the terror she might cause a rabbit if she chases it. And the rabbit does not think about the hunger of my dog and that perhaps it should let my dog catch it. My dog is “moved” by the image of the rabbit in her sight, and the rabbit is “moved” by the sight of my dog racing in approach. No thinking about the meaning of what is happening.
This is especially important and noted by Catholics - that we act out what we understand as truth and good, rather than having our being and actions controlled and swung about by everything we see or feel or hear or touch. When we make our understanding of truth happen in our actions, we are doing something that is “supernatural” in the world - we are no longer puppets but we are doing and making reality equal to known and understood “good”. When the world simply acts by what it feels or senses, you will find people trying to find a way to explain why they are not at fault for doing these things. But where you find someone behaving in accord with reason and understanding, there is no need to “explain yourself”. And your actions in the world are very good always.
You felt a feeling - but you have other things in your understanding. As a human, are you going to give up your understanding to be like a dog or a bunny that chases or runs away from what is experienced? Or are you going to do the things you know are good, right, true and be evidence to the world of what Catholics know about making good happen in the world. Running after a feeling or sensation does not make good happen in the world, and actually does not satisfy, because each sensation is followed by another and none is ever enough. But there is a real satisfaction when you see you have made something good happen in the world that would not be there if you had not understood it with your reason and made it real with your actions.
Feelings are not facts. I am sure if you examine your feelings, you will se that you have had lots of feelings that were inappropriate to act up. You can agree that not all feelings are reality if you think about it. Turn to the Lord with all your heart and rely not on your own understanding.
In my lifetime, I have “felt” like “killing” someone, jumping off a bridge, pulling out my hair, telling off my boss etc. I ask Jesus to help me rise above these animalistic instincts and embrace His teachings and way of life Follow Christ in all things and you will be happy.
God bless you and keep you safe during your youth.