Son has been married for 18 years to a woman he met in a Catholic college, The situation has been deeply hurtful and a trial for us, and the rest of the family. We have stayed away for the last four years after dil blew us off from visiting the newest addition in the hospital.
Last year, son came to his brother’s wedding but not his wife nor his kids. It would have been understandable had they not taken a trip two weeks before the wedding in an adjacent area. And they did not acknoweldge the invitation and reply quickly. The bride to be had to call son who was to be the best man.
That is two examples. There are MANY,MANY others. The latest salvo was a condolence card sent by the dil in question.It arrived two days ago, three weeks after my Mom died. Mom was the great-grandmother to son and dil’s four children. It was signed by her, the kids and their dog. Son came to funeral, flying in day before and leaving 24 hrs. later. No flowers, no Mass card, no fruit basket. That was not brought up. We actually had a good time as long as the elephant sitting in the room wasn’t acknowleged. If you attempt it, you get the blank look. Talking to son re. wife is like talking to a wall.
We accepted that until the card arrived. My stomach rose to my throat. I would like to write back and tell her she is such a hypocrite. I feel by not saying what I’m feeling, I’m lying. I’m accepting terrible behaviour for the sake of keeping peace in a relationship that doesn’t exist. We hadn’t talked to our son since the wedding 18 months ago.
From the get-go, we were told by her family (mother and the siblings) she is selfish, “should have had a good smack on her butt”, her mother actual said to me, re. another episode a year after they were married, that what dil had told me and her Mom was a lie. That is when I knew if she could lie to her mother and father and treat them like she was treating them, we were going to be in for it. And we have.
Son? What I’ve been told is he has to live with her. He’s under her control. There isn’t anything he can do.
A friend hearing about the card, told me dil has serious mental problems. I agree. But what is it? Nacissistic personality?
Thanks for letting me vent.