[quote="taye, post:1, topic:234461"]
For those of you who have been judged or insulted because of your decision to have a large family, how do you deal with the influx of comments from friends/acquaintances/strangers about your family size? I'm so frustrated...
Early on in my pregnancy, one of my husband's co-workers' wives said loudly (almost yelling) that he needed to get the "snip snips". At the office, of all places! Glad I wasn't there - I don't know what I would done:mad:. Yesterday, I had a lady ask me in the church parking lot (coming out from communion prep meeting) how many children we had... Then she and the other lady she was talking to said something about one of them getting "fixed" and then walked away and continued another conversation without me. It's so rude... "I have two kids and I am DONE" and then ignore me. A very similar event happened just the other week. They go away and continue speaking with someone else who wasn't "crazy" enough to want a 4th child. And as my husband came to pick me up, I waved at them and they didn't acknowledge (maybe they didn't see me though??). Husband later told me that they gave him a dirty look when he drove by.
How can people be so cruel? Though my pregnancy has gone well from a health standpoint, it has been riddled with drama from strangers and family and I've just about had it! I feared I would miscarry this child early on in my pregnancy. Several family members went "silent" when I told them about my pregnancy - one of them even continued her previous conversation without even saying anything to me about it. I wasn't expecting everyone to jump up in the air about it, but a simple congratulations would have sufficed.
So much for trying to keep my lenten penance of not complaining... But if I don't get this off my chest, I fear my family will suffer because of my frustrations.
Anyone been in a similar situation? Is there any way to diffuse these comments or prevent them in the first place? How did you deal with this? I know I should be praying for them, as I feel an intense grief each time I learn that someone is contracepting (and can't imagine how God feels about it all). My profound sadness and frustration makes it nearly impossible to pray, though.
4 children used to be a normal-sized family. In our current culture of death, having children at ALL is seen as selfish, because your little rug-rats and curtain-climbers are taking resources that belong to spoiled young adults who have never had to sacrifice one day in their pampered lives. So if you DARE to have more than 2 kids, or keep having them after you are supposed to have been "snipped," you are eligible for all sorts of disapproval.
I love to watch "19 Kids and Counting," can you just IMAGINE all the flak the Duggar family has taken through the years??? I have found that almost no one understands them, including everyone in my own family and most if not all of my friends. Personally, I pray for them and cheer for them, and I admire them. I could be Michelle Duggar, I love kids that much and I also regret my history of artificial contraception. But God didn't allow me to keep having kids, so families like yours have to carry on where I left off. Starting at age 32, I was lucky to get the 2 healthy sons I have.
I try to compliment any couple I see with more than 2 kids. If there are more than 4, I will do my very best to tell them how lovely it is to see a large family, and even if the baby is screaming, the toddlers fussing, and the others looking bedraggled, I tell them how well they are doing.