What is your answer to anti-NFP folks?


#1

Hey all …
As a newly minted NFP’er, I’d like to know how you answer those folks that think you’re nuts for following NFP.

Any thoughts?


#2

If they are not being really rude: I am doing the right thing for my family and what I think God wants of me.

If they are being really rude: Ignorance often leads to disdain…


#3

It is hard to argue with statistics and facts. If they want to, let them. Much as I’d look silly for arguing that 2+2 = 5 (Orwellian references aside), so will they.


#4

I don’t think I’ve ever found a snappy, one-size-fits-all type of answer. I just try to respond on a case by case basis, depending on why exactly the person is taking issue with me. Some people have harrassed me because they think I’m so silly with these “crazy ideas”. In that case, I respond that NFP has nothing to do with me personally – that it’s not some program that I invented. The church teaches it and has plenty of documentation to back up why it’s good and effective. They don’t have to trust it because I think it’s good – but because the Church teaches that it is right.

For people who laugh at me because they think that there’s no way it could work effectively, I always wind up talking about the science of it. I really love the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility for ways to discuss it in a secular way (for non-Catholic folks who think you are silly for using it).

So I guess in many cases I’ve just tried to deflect it from being personal (except maybe to say that it has worked wonderfully for me and my husband) and instead put the focus on the Church, her teachings, and the science behind NFP.

liz


#5

Tell them it’s a feminist thing!

suite101.com/article.cfm/natural_family_planning/94786

If you type in NFP and Feminism into a search engine like Google, you will get dozens of links to feminist material lauding NFP.


#6

In general, I don’t discuss this with people. If a stranger asked “hey, what do you all use for family planning”, I’d tell them it was nunya.

This kind if intimate information goes to:

Priest
Doctor
Very close friends or family, and only if they ask about it first
Strangers on the internet

:slight_smile:


#7

This has never even come up!

My family and friends know quite well my position on Catholic teaching and all my friends are NFP users as well. No one else has ever asked or brought it up.

The only people who I encounter making anti-NFP comments are on here.


#8

sure tell them the birth control you decide to use is your choice just as what they use is thiers…simple as that


#9

**

What is your answer to anti-NFP folks?

Living it out and showing an example…**


#10

You’re exactly right … it’s honestly no ones’s business … the only time it’s come up in conversation was at my post-partum checkup with Rachel last year. I argued with the PA about NFP, and basically told her that unless she could tell me that NFP was hazardous to my health, I was not interested in what she had to say about ABC.

Sometimes, I’d like to offer it to folks (non Catholics) as a healthy alternative to the (in my opinion) damaging effects of ABC, when I hear them talk about how wonderful it is not to have periods, etc. ( In my opinion, that’s NOT normal, but that’s been discussed in another thread)

Thanks!


#11

Aside from the statistices…I generally mention that I can’t imagine consiously subjecting myself to hormones and chemicals that are foreign to my body --> throwing off it’s natural rhythm. In addition, the risk of side effects of something that I don’t even need seems rather ridiculous. Then you can add the increased rate of divorce in ABC marriages. And I usually do make a statement about my faith being involved and the beauty of life. I find that when I show confidence in my faith and my decision, people are respectful, or at least seem to ask more inquisitive than judgemental questions. As others said, my response is situational, usually more faith based if I’m talking to someone who believes (like some of my protestant friends) and more medical if I’m talking to a doctor…If they keep pestering (such as nurses at one OBGYN I went to) I simply state “Birth Control is not an option for us, thank you”, keeping my tone from being cold and being super patient (man that rankles people:D…you stay rational when meeting their accusations). You can also switch OBGYN’s or even possibly find a Catholic OBGYN or Family Practice Doctor/NP…at least during the times when you do not need OBGYN services.

God bless!


#12

Depends on the person, but I usually start with the facts–it is 99% effective if all the rules are followed, exactly the same as the pill without all the side effects. Then I mention all the bad side effects I did have when I was on the pill (many years before my conversion).
If that doesn’t work, I just say that all children are a blessing and gift from God, and He is obviously smarter than me, and so I trust Him to give me children when He thinks I need them, and I will gladly take a gift from my Heavenly Father anytime He wants to give me one. :smiley: Hard to argue against that.


#13

I don’t have one either. I have gotten into it with a Navy OB/GYN before on the subject. He asked me what I was using for BC, I told him NFP. He argued I should be on the pill, I simply stated back “I am Catholic.” His response was:

“SO WHAT!?! I KNOW tons of Catholics on Birth Control!! Why does that make a difference?”

“You are walking a VERY dangerous precipice Dr. L, once my religion is mentioned you are professionally obligated to STOP right there. It’s not up for argument, and if you continue I’ll report you. As far as other Catholics on birth control: that’s their business and between them and God. However, it is a sin, it is not allowed in my religion. If other Catholic’s jumped off a bridge, I wouldn’t do it simply because I am Catholic too.” And that ended the conversation.

As far as other people go I don’t usually discuss it because it’s nobody’s business!


#14

I say it’s the most natural, healthy and safest way to plan a family or space babies. Since I am basically still a newlywed (married 15 mos ago), some people in my family think I’m crazy. When they say I’ll get pregnant and that it’d ruin my marriage I say that it wouldn’t ruin it, it would be a blessing, especially since both DH and I LOVE children.

When people tell me, “Well, other Catholics use ABC”, I say they are not truly following the faith because a Catholic is supposed to be 100% pro-life, the CC is 100% against ABC, and that ABC causes more abortions than Planned Parenthood and other clinics. I also tell them that ABC has many, MANY side effects that I wasn’t willing to go through. I used the pill before and had horrible migraines, missed periods, tension headaches, ovarian cysts, breast pain, horrible cramps, sudden pains here and there, low libido, blurred vision… and that’s only a few of the side effects I experienced. Why put my body up to that if the natural way to “contracept” is easy to learn and follow? Plus, then only other reason why I’m using it is because we believe God’s telling us to wait on starting our family.

That’s what I tell them, including my Catholic sister who was terrified when I told her I stopped taking the pill.

I want God to be the one who decides if I have babies or not, besides, NFP has brought DH and I closer together. He even told me 2 nights ago that he was getting used to phase 2 abstinence and he doesn’t mind it any more (and he’s not even Catholic). :smiley:


#15

At first, I was quite hurt that everyone would say, “Oh, she’ll be pregnant by Christmas!” (I got married at the end of November.) I would just quietly say, “Well, we’ll see, won’t we? If it works, I won’t be pregnant, and if it doesn’t, you’ll be right.” I knew of several people who were hedging bets on when we’d have a baby, and suggested to my DH, parents, and in-laws, that we should take all the proceeds when we proved everyone wrong. :smiley:

I did not get pregnant while trying to avoid. I achieved my first pregnancy with the help of NFP, so I make sure to point out to people that it works both ways.

The biggest help, though, is when I go to my new NFP OB/GYN and bring my mom and MIL with me. :wink: My doc talks about how great NFP is and how wonderful it works. Both sets of parents were very skeptical, but you know, having someone with authority (not me and DH) speak about it really helps.


#16

well I dont quote those facts because they are a lil out there they claim them but noone has the actual data sheet they used.but its the same with anything if you use it exactly right everytime its 99% so thats kind of misleading anyways
what I say is use what you personally like dont worry about what others think, Plus its really none of thier concern…


#17

Respectfully … I disagree. Every thing I’ve ever read regarding NFP states that it is highly effective in determining a woman’s fertile period, and preventing pregnancy by abstaining … provided it is used correctly.
ccli.org/nfp/basics/effectiveness-p02.php
This link quotes multiple studies, from various sources, all with 98% or greater effectiveness.


#18

everything you have read? I have read that space aliens have been attacking earth women as well and I have read that the owrld was gonna end several times…

everything is highly effective when used correctly, 99.% of pregnancys while using something to prevent are due to human error which means not used correctly thats why I say them stats sound good but are not as factual as they want them to be,
I know people whom have become pregnant with tubals, vasectomies, using various ABCs and NFP. NOTHING at all is 100 % including abstinence unless of course you do not believe our faith…

I still stand by the respnse what we decide to use is our buisness if you dont like it keep it to yourself or dont ask lol


#19

Here is something to try when they start giving you trouble…“Oh, so you have experience with it?” and offer to listen to their story, most probably rejected it without ever having tried it. So when they say…“Uh…no…”, then you can tell them how happy you are with it, and how it “works for you.”


#20

I let my marriage speak for itself.


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