I had a conversation with my wife tonight dealing with another board we’ve been slowing migrating from. The board is for converts to Catholicism yet the folks that hang out there seem to hang on to their proselytizing ways… They’re really good at apologetics, but they method of delivery to us is not Catholic at all. But that’s another thread. I want to talk about something that concerns me. Ever since I first came on this board I really wanted to learn apologetics since I was proselytized many years ago into a fundamentalist group. Thankfully, I kept my eye on always trying to learn the truth and ultimately my fundamentalist wife converted to the Church with me. It was God sent. But I feared posting because of the way I had learned to communicate with others from a fundamentalist perspective. Although I had converted back to Catholicism, much of what I said sounded seriously Protestant like…for a good reason…I was Protestant for so many years. At least in my head. CAF is very unforgiving towards people that might say things in a fit or rage of confusion. It seems quite uncharitable to not allow people to change things they say after they’ve thought through it later realizing that the tone or words used were not good choices. In fact, 20 minutes is just not enough time to me… If I were a writer or an attorney I guess I could mange that better. However, I’m sort of blogging on here, searching for answers to questions I either don’t know or thought I knew and want reassurance I have it right. Why, because had I learned the real teachings of the Church growing up I most likely would never have left. I’m learning for myself, but also for my children. I also would like to get informed enough to inter ministry one day…as a deacon serving God.
So I heard that employers are now searching applicant names to see what the blog and where they hand out at online. I’m glad I don’t use my real name. So how do you feel about that? It makes me second guess everything I write now. I even hesitate to admit that this is not my first username on here because when I first came back to Catholicism I really sounded like a real knucklehead and frankly really embarrassed myself. I couldn’t post anyting without offending the moderator or others. That was part of our specific Protestant training…methods. It makes you realize that I may have waisted many good opportunities in the past just by the way I appraoched problems. We weren’t that crazy, just opinionated…strongly. I still have to work through it and it’s working. I don’t even like to go to sites that arent’ Catholic anymore. And I’m not as motivated to spend much time here anymore, since it interferes with real life and real people. It cuts into my prayer life. But its a way to put my thoughts down. Like a journal to look back on… but that’s the problem…it leaves my footprint and I pray that it never interferes with me being accepted to the diaconate one day. So I will remain anonymous as long as I am allowed.