What must I do? Any advice greatly appreciated


I was doing some Bible reading and came across this bit of commentary from a catholic bible site:

Jesus promises that those who are willing to part with what is most dear to them for his sake “will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life” (Matthew 19:29). Is there anything holding you back from pursuing the Lord and his will for you life?

And what came to my mind was…yes there is. While I do want to do what is right, I don’t know how exactly to.

It’s with this girl, I really like her a lot, she is Catholic, I met her at my youth group and all, but she doesn’t like me anymore than a friend, so I want to you know like emotionally break off everything so I can follow my path Jesus has set for me better. I’ve been praying for her, but of course when you pray for someone you get reminded of them, so do I stop praying for her?

Also do I like avoid going anywhere where she might be? I only mainly see at youth groups anyways, and I won’t stop going to them because I learn a lot from there. How do I exactly part with what is keeping me away from following Jesus fully

Now, I was getting over her but recently some recent stuff made me like be attracted to her again. And yes it’s distracting a lot of times, I can’t stop thinking about her (not in a bad way) and it’s having an effect on my grades and my motivation for doing whatever else I need to do, so it is interfering with Jesus’ will for me, if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be posting this.

Any advice?



Hi again confused:)

What I think jumped out at me in reading your ‘dilemma,’ is not so much in the girl that you are attracted to, but more in the fixation, itself…where it’s preventing you from being productive. I would give this up in a daily Rosary…each decade pray for strength. Pray for what God wants for you, and you will be amazed at what He provides to you. He knows better than us, and He knows better than you why this isn’t the right person for you. Or maybe she is the right person, but He is preparing your heart to handle a relationship. So, pray pray and pray s’more. I think that through prayer, you will hear His still soft voice bringing you to where He wants you to go.

And it can be easy to allow someone or something to distract us to the point of not getting things done…that’s where we must ask God to carry us…at least carry us around until we are not…confused, anymore. God bless, and good luck to you:)


Hey whatevergirl,

Gee that sounds funny stated like that ^^ ‘hey whatevergirl’

Anyways, thanks for your post.

I will pray the rosary as you suggested, thanks again and God Bless :slight_smile:


I agree that putting yourself under Our Lady’s protection in a special way regarding relationships is a great idea. It’s awesome that you’re truly trying to follow God’s will for your life! And, Blessed Mother is a great friend to people serious about God’s will.

I know from my own experience in high school that feelings of attraction to someone who is not “the one” can be hard to deal with, especially when you know that you will continue seeing the person. Perhaps the key is not so much what to consider giving-up (such as the youth group), but what to take-on. In other words, might you get involved feeding the poor at a soup kitchen or helping your local crisis pregnancy center or doing some other work of mercy independent of this person?

I don’t know your age (that is, whether you are an adult yet), but if and when you are ready to discern for marriage, you may consider actively searching for the one God intends as your spouse, perhaps online. My husband and I met four years ago on Ave Maria Singles (as did a lot of spouses on these Forums, I think). Sites like this help you get beyond the “so what’s your favorite color” shallow questions and discuss what really matters, such as your commitment to elements of the Faith and that of a potential spouse.

At any rate, I’ve said a prayer for you. God bless you!



Thanks Kirsten.

I am 19, nearly 20. I am not going to try anything online, because I already spend enough time online and on average over the last 5 years, I’ve probably been on the computer about 10 hours a day.

So, that’s something I want to be on less as well.

Thanks for your words of encouragement, and yea I like discussing the faith, but meh, these days these things don’t come too easy.



Hi again confused;

I know it may sound simplistic…there really are no better ways to refocus your mind, than to pray fervently…daily. It’s obviously not healthy to fixate or over-think about someone, who is not interested in you, in the same way. (it’s not healthy to fixate on someone who does think of you in the same way either–to the point where you can’t do everyday chores, and are shunning your grades, etc…)

So…the best tool to ‘regroup’ your thinking, is to pray. And pray for her…that she finds someone to make her happy, and that God leads you to the right person.

Man, you are young, though! Just a little baby, still (I know, not what you want to hear–I tell my 15 yr old son he is a baby, too) :smiley: But, you are very young–and you will have plenty of opportunties to meet new people…especially women. Enjoy your life, in every circumstance (as St Paul tells us to do) and the right person will eventually come along.


Umm… Sounds strange, I know, but why are you so certain that you know Jesus’ will for you? How can you be sure that what you think to be His will is His will in reality?

However, if she doesn’t like you the same way you like her, you need to make the effort and cut confusing ties, keep the situation clear, not give her the benefits of more thna friends, nor try to get the same benefits from her. In other words: just friends, or no contact. But don’t expect yourself to be superhuman and don’t pretend you don’t feel what you really do. Offer it up, but don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. You don’t want to live a lie, not even for a good cause.

Make sure you have something to do and try not to think about her. There’s always some work to do, some studying, even some entertainment. If that doesn’t work, make sure you have someone to talk to. If you can’t concentrate on anything different from that girl, perhaps sign up for some work where you won’t be able to stop and think about her. Don’t know… voluntary work? Martial arts? Some heavy training or a physically demanding job that gets you tired and keeps you occupied? That should work.

And perhaps try not to go to bed too late. That’s the time when one’s the most lonely.


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