what now?


so, i’ve grown so much in my faith since i started again going to church in october. i’m only 16 with a CEO (Christmas/Easter only family). but, i did start going to church and growing in my faith when i found out that my aunt, Martha, was diagnosed with breast cancer. she had given me this cross necklace around then and idk, i just caught on. but, this isn’t about all that now. to make a long story short, on monday, around noon Martha passed away with me present, and a seminarian on pastoral year at my church had given me a prayer of commendation to say when she did. so i got to be with her about an hour before she did pass and talked with her then said the prayer. but, now i’m completely crushed with her death. she was pretty much the only one i could go to with anything and everything and the only person in my family that i can relate to. we were so close my whole growing up. and now i don’t know what to do without her. and i feel like idk, i feel like i just can’t do this without her. and i’m even thinking i don’t want to go to her funeral on saturday. i don’t know what it’s going to be like and maybe that scares me or maybe i don’t want to say goodbye. but idk, i wasn’t ready for this. any help or advice is much appreciated. i really don’t know what to do with myself now.


Martha is still with you… you can pray for and to her…

From the catechism…

Communion with the dead. "In full consciousness of this communion of the whole Mystical Body of Jesus Christ, the Church in its pilgrim members, from the very earliest days of the Christian religion, has honored with great respect the memory of the dead; and ‘because it is a holy and a wholesome thought to pray for the dead that they may be loosed from their sins’ she offers her suffrages for them."500 Our prayer for them is capable not only of helping them, but also of making their intercession for us effective.

In the one family of God. "For if we continue to love one another and to join in praising the Most Holy Trinity—all of us who are sons of God and form one family in Christ—we will be faithful to the deepest vocation of the Church."501

You have my utmost sympathies for the loss of your aunt. I’m so sorry she is no longer present in this life to help you in faith…
But continue to lean on her love and protection from heaven… she’s helped you come this far in faith… she won’t abandon you now!


By all means attend her funeral, see your aunt off for her last journey on earth. Keep on praying for her. She will keep on praying for you.

You ought to continue your faith journey even your aunt is no longer there to support you. Check out the Catholic church for any appropriate faith formation group you may join. Talk to the priest and get some direction.

Faith is the most precious gift one may have in life. Never give up.


We are so sorry to read of the loss of your aunt. It’s never easy to cope with such a loss and our prayers are with you and your family.

We realize the pain of the loss may make you confused, but it seems you have been given such a wonderful gift of returning to the church - why would you want to abandon it? Go to the funeral and pray for your aunt’s eternal rest. Perhaps the words spoken will give you comfort and peace and help you see that you are where you need to be right now to ease the pain of your loss.

Continue going to mass, enjoy the sacraments when you can, and lead by example for family and friends. Perhaps that’s part of the gift - leading other back to the faith. You wouldn’t be the first kid who has taught their parents a thing or two about returning to the church more often then C&E.

I also agree with the post about finding youth organizations that suit your spiritual needs and get you excited about being a child of God. Good luck and God Bless.


My condolences.

I did not attend the funeral of my Grandmother. I was in college and able to use an excuse that I had exams.
I regret not going. I probably had similar feeling you have.

When you pray; ask God to help you keep your faith journey going and to help you through this difficult time. These are prayers you can be certain will be answered.

god bless you,



Hi Jenny. You have my sincerest condolences and prayers.

It seems as if your Aunt Martha gave you the gift of strengthening your faith. Scripture says that we will be known by the fruit that we bear, and you are one of her fruit. Please honor that by going to her burial service.

I would also suggest the Divine Mercy Chaplet, which I have found very helpful and powerful during the loss of my own father.

May God Bless you and your Aunt Martha.



Never say goodbye to her…just say, until we meet again. That’s the promise given to all of us by Jesus Christ’s Resurrection. Grieve your loss, but be comforted that tomorrow will come.


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