What Responsibility Does a Spouse Have to Look Attractive For the Other?


Does a spouse have any responsiblity to look attractive for the other? If not, why not? If so, why? And perhaps most importantly, what are the practical aspects and limitations? In the home only? In public?


Some Saturday’s I don’t take the time to put on makeup or do my hair. I dress up every day for work and Sunday for Church, so, on most weeks my family sees me dressed/made up 6 days a week.

If I were a SAHM, I’d get dressed and with hair/makeup during the week - of course, I’d not be June Cleaver doing the houswork in high heels and a skirt :wink:


I think it’s important to an extent.

But what’s more important is to be good to your spouse.
Pax Christi,


i do think that you shoud dress up for your spouse even if you are at home… it just shows your spouse how much you care about the other person and not just about looking good when u r going out…

no need to go all out… :slight_smile: but just clean and presentable…


if one spouse criticizes the other spouse for the way they look, and then complains about money the spouse spends on hair, make-up, manicures, clothes etc. in order to look good, I think spouse #1 should look in the mirror and worry about his own beer belly, smelly clothes and sloppy habits and get off her case.


i am very confused with this post???


Bad day perhaps, puzzle?:frowning: Hugs.
Pax Christi,


I love my wife so much that I try to be clean and dressed almost all of the time. She has the same respect for me. Forty years in two months.



I think puzzleannie makes a good point :slight_smile: It’s easy for a husband to complain about his wife wearing old clothes and wearing an outdated hairdo. But is he willing to budget for her to go and buy some nice clothes and makeup, and to go get her hair done? She’s not making this a personal attack on OP.

On a similar topic, is he also willing to have the wife spend the extra time prettying herself up? No use complaining about her appearance and then complaining about the time and money she has to spend on looking better.


what about the ones that do not drink, esspecially beer are always showered, dont complain about how much a spouse spends, and is not sloppy?

now on that note, the way i see it is you married for better or for worse.from the worse the better always seems to come thru.

each of us owes to OURSELVES to look at least decent,
as far as looking attractive, I cant say you all have this feeling or not but the woman I love would still be the most beautiful woman in the world to me if she had just fallen into a sewer and i had to pull her out, there is more to a person than outside appearences
when i chat online with her I can see her in my mind, when i talk to her on phone same thing, she could be wrapped in bandages from heads to toe, burnt to a crisp and missing half her face and all i will see in her is the woman I fell in love with, so i guess i cant say a spouse should dress to look attractive for other, because in my mind it makes no difference…


Clean and presentable is fine, around our house.

Sometimes he sluffs around in jeans and a t-shirt, and sometimes I do, too. No biggie.

He looks very dashing in a tux and tails. :thumbsup: But I don’t expect that sort of thing every day of the week. :wink:


This topic reminds me of the song “Did I shave my legs for this” Here’s a link to the lyrics. lyrics.astraweb.com/displayp.cgi?f=deana_carter…did_i_shave_my_legs_for_this…did_i_shave_my_legs_for_this


That is awesome my friend…what a beautiful way of thinking. Truly seeing with the eyes of God.:slight_smile:


:clapping: I agree.


I think it is important to at least try to stay attractive for each other. One big beef I have with my husband is that he won’t shave on the weekends! :stuck_out_tongue: I love the feel of freshly-shaved faces. But oh well.


Reading through some of these posts made me see it another way. We are temples of the Holy Spirit. I think we should keep these temples well-maintained on the inside and on the outside, for Him :slight_smile: Even if we don’t have a spouse to impress!


Amen, we should all look to ourselves and see how as the temples of the Holy Spirit we have a responsibility to take care of ourselves.

This goes now double for the married…

I keep from overeating, eating late, I exercise and keep well groomed for my wife as well as for the Spirit.

A lack of this can sometimes be a sign of other issues such as low self esteem, laziness, anger at the spouse, depression, over work, or something else. Even though we all have responsibilities things can damage our desire to carry them out.

The slob of a husband\wife does not justify the other acting out in a similar way.

God Bless


I think it’s up to the couple to decide what is and is not important.

My example: I don’t care if my FH is wearing unmatched clothes or sandals in winter. But if he doesn’t clean his fingernails, I flip. Yes, weird…

And in his case, he doesn’t like makeup, fancy clothes, high heels and other typical feminine styles. He would be perfectly happy if I wore loose shirts and a skirt with flats. But he really wants my hairstyles to always be chic and maintained, even a bit on the celebrity side.


Precisely. Either spouse can’t complain about appearance on one hand, and then about time and money reasonably spent on appearance on the other.


Wow. I guess my husband and I are slobs, then. I will confess it all here. :smiley: If we decide to stay at home on a Saturday we wander around the house in our bathrobes all day. Honestly, we don’t even brush our hair. And makeup? On a day at home? Forget it.

My husband works in the IT industry. He owns one suit of the wedding/funeral/interview type and wears it approximately 3 times a year. I don’t have to dress up for my job, either. I probably dress the nicest when I go to Mass.

My husband’s favorite outfit is a pair of truly hideous camo pants, a t-shirt and hiking boots. I"m partial to sweat pants and t-shirts. When we go on vacation these are the clothes we take with us. Course we like outdoorsy type vacatons. Hiking in national parks, etc…

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