I am 30
I was born catholic. Baptized, and confirmed.
I was married 9/21/09 but not in a catholic church
My daughter was born 7/7/10 not yet baptized
The last time I attended church was Easter 2010 as I only ever go on special occasions, when my family begs me. (I am so very ashamed of this now.) I didnt even make Ash Wednesday this year.
I feel as if I have disappointed people. A huge burden hangs over me.
This past St. Patricks day, my grandfather suffered a grand mal seizure out of the clear blue. An otherwise very healthy 76 year old. He came out of it as good as ever. He underwent extensive testing and everything came back perfect. Just so weird.
This has brought the thoughts of death and dying to my immediate attention. I now question my faith and very existance.
I am concerned that when we die…thats it…nothing else, we dont see loved ones, all is lost. Just…poof…gone. I cannot get these thoughts to leave me alone.
I really want and NEED faith right now. Thats the only thing I keep thinking. That faith will make it all better. But I cannot seem to find it, or even know where to look for it.
The tears wont stop…
please pray for me.