What should I be doing?

I’ve recently moved out of my parents home on bad terms and I am staying with my boyfriends family. He works 12 hours a day, most days of the week and I work primarily on the weekends with only 4-5 hour shifts. I like to clean up the room that I am sharing and take out trash that is in there. Everynow and then I go on walks. But most of the time when he asks me what I am doing, I find myself playing video games or goofing off on the computer.

He asked me if I stressed out while playing games and I know I don’t. He does though because he says he is aware of the cost of living. He then told me that Catholics have a simple mission statement, work, love, personal integrity, responsibility. And the other half is “to live any other way is to incorporate death and sin into your soal, live without responsibility and integrity, burn in hell for all eternity.” And it is a mindset that makes you muscular inside, which is something I lack being raised nondemoninational.

I really just don’t know what to do. I am someone who thinks in the here and now, while all he thinks of is the past and future. I know I have to go to work in a few hours so I thought, “I will enjoy myself and play some games.” I often do so just because I feel like I am stuck in a waiting stage. My boyfriend tells me that is a lack of awareness and I need to take charge of myself and video games is for when you are already tired from work.

What am I supposed to do when there seems like there is nothing to be done? He says small things like cleaning and exercising and the little things one needs to take care of are all just time killers. Is that true? What am I supposed to be doing?

I want to be a happy wholesome person for me, and not do it just because I feel if I don’t, I will make him disappointed. How do I do that?

Think. There may be ‘seasons’ to your life. You may need this time you have. Be true; and all will become well. That is what I think.

There is nothing really wrong with playing video games but maybe you could try and find a more productive hobbie, maybe learn to play a musical instrument or how to sew and make clothes or something.

Or spend your time praying the rosary, no catholic man could complain about that and nothing makes a person stronger except perhaps going to Mass and receiving the sacraments.

You put that much better than I could have!

You have had a bad split from your family. You are hurting and confused. Give yourself time.

I had a bad split from my family too, and rushed into a marriage I regretted. It will probably take you much longer to adjust to what happened at home than you expect, or want.

Advocatus suggested that you divert **some **of your video game time to praying the rosary, and/or attend weekday mass. I thoroughly endorse that. Unfortunately many parishes no longer have a weekday mass, but if yours does, or you can find one, then try to attend. Rather than being too ambitious, just say to yourself “this week, I will attend one weekday mass”. Then next week, “I will attend that mass again, and arrive 20 minutes early for the rosary”, etc… :slight_smile:

With prayers and best wishes,


Well, cleaning and exercising aren’t exactly “just time killers.” But while you do need relaxation, especially after the family situation, video games and the computer can eat up too much of your time.
He may be being too hard on you, but he could be frustrated at what he sees as aimlessness. Use some of this free time to explore what you’d like to do with the rest of your life, and share that exploration with him.
Also, have you considered looking for a job that will give you more work, so you could contribute financially to the household? Do you help with the rest of the housework, or just the one room? Maybe you could spend some of that computer time looking into ways to continue your education? And as others have said, pray.

God bless!

You didn’t say why you only work on weekends. If you have some conflict during the week like classes that’s one thing but if you could be working why not put your free time into finding another part-time job.

According to your last 2 threads, it seems this is a decisive time in your life and that feels overwhelming. I just graduated with a Master’s degree in music performance on trumpet. I confirmed into the Church in 2009 after a 10-year atheism. I have no job and am running dangerously low on money but am somehow surviving. There is a possible call to the priesthood or there is a call to have a daughter (weird but it is a pretty strong call). In either case, I will engage in apologetics (mainly in defense against atheism but FOR the atheist) because I know more what atheism does to a soul than any atheist. I went through what many people would call “hell”. I am letting you know this so you can know that you are not alone in making big decisions and not alone in big areas of life.

Anyhow, I have no idea who you are but one thing I do is that you have a root (faith) in the soil. The stem (hope) will soon grow and its fruits (love and charity) will abound plentifully. When you grow in faith, hope and love you become more of who you are because your will is conforming to God’s. And I disagree with your boyfriend on some of those things. Exercise and tidying up are essential things in life. Just like prayer (spiritual exercise) and reconciliation (like cleaning your spiritual home). On the unessentials, video games and computer, I agree with him, but we all need a break.

I hope things go well for you. If this does not help, I apologize. I feel like I write the most boring posts. You do not need to doubt. I did enough of that for the rest of humanity as an atheist. Anyway, take care and see a priest if possible. RCIA will be fun for you. Take care :slight_smile:

Thank you everyone, this is really helpful.

I only work on the weekends because that is just when my managers like to schedule me. I only get a maximum of 18 hours a week in most cases. I probably should get a second job, but I was just sort of trying for a whole new one.

I am also waiting for fall classes to start up. I am only taking one class though, so I can get some math done while paying off other things.

It just sort of got hard for me because I felt like I am always in a state of waiting (I think I already said this). Waiting for work to start, waiting for my bf to get off work, waiting for classes to start, etc. I also would escape to electronics because, as my boyfriend puts it, they think for me. And it is true. I can just relax when I play them and not worry even though I should be thinking of important things. It just hurts me when I do, so I got into the habit at home to just default to video games. There was nothing to do there, as I wasn’t allowed to go many places.

Going to mass during the week sounds like a really good idea and I’m pretty sure the church in my area has weekday masses. Unless they stopped doing those while they are re-constructing the church. :confused:

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