My husband and I have a child and another on the way. I am on the taller and heavy side (although I am not that heavy, but I am not like a model either) and at first this did not bother him. He actually liked it but he wanted me to lose weight. He said he wasn't really attracted to me anymore and he was just with me because of the kids. He started doing some things I am not happy about like going out to bars and stuff. I caught him dancing with a girl in a bar. his excuse was he was drunk. I let it slide but I told him he's never going there again. Now I found a paper a while ago (months ago) with some screen name and password. I figured out yesterday it was a e-mail account I didn't know he had. Once I got into it I found e-mails from adultfriendfinder.com. You know, the website where adults try to meet others for sex. He has an account with them. I was able to reset the password and get into the account. he didn't have much on there. Only that he was a man interested in women. He checked that he wanted one on one sex. He said in his introduction we just moved to here and he's interested in meeting someone. he didn't have any e-mails, messages, friends, etc on there. They delete your activity from what I can see if you aren't on in three months so I know it's been at least that long since he's been on there. he hadn't read most of the e-mails in the e-mail account either since around the beginning of the year.
I was real upset and he could tell. He said he wanted me to tell him what was going on because I was pregnant with early labor history and high blood pressure. I am high risk. He didn't want me or the baby hurt and I showed him what i printed off. He denied it at first saying who did this? That's his first line of defense and I said you and I have the password and screen name in your handwriting to prove it. He said he was sorry and didn't do anything with anyone. That he wasn't happy with my physically but when he looked in the mirror he couldn't do something like that as a dad. I said once the baby was born and had it's first checkups and was cleared I would take the kids and leave if i was so physically ugly to him. He said he didn't want to be without the kids and I said I didn't want to keep them from him but that if this is how it's going to be that I would leave and he said he didn't do anything and loves me and doesn't want me to leave.
I want to believe he didn't do anything. Like I said, he doesn't have any contacts or friends and it looks like he hasn't been in in maybe even closer to a year but still to even do this is WAY over the line.
I just don't know what to do and how to handle this. He is totally over the line and sorry doesn't cut it. It sounds plausable, but it seems like he has to explain away a lot of things lately and I don't know it's the truth or if he's just a good liar. For all I know he could have had sex with someone and then felt guilty and stopped. I mean, I will never REALLY know, you know?